How insider traders cope inside
I was convicted of securities fraud, falsifying business records and conspiracy to commit fraud in the US federal court in Manhattan. I have yet to be sentenced, but I expect to serve at least one year in prison.
My wife's pleas have brought me to the door of a private gym called Underdog Fitness in Manhattan's Upper East Side. I ring the bell with trepidation, wary of meeting the man hired to teach me how to live and survive in jail.
As the door swings open I am met by a large man, powerfully built, with thick, tattooed arms. “Hi, I'm Steven Oberfest, with ‘Incarceration Optimization Program,'” he says gently, extending his hand and escorting me into a spacious gym.
Walking in, I explain that my trial, and the bogus charges against me, have been an ordeal. He admits to hearing similar tales before. The media frenzy in particular has made life hard, I add. This brings a slight smirk to our faces.
In fact, Mr Oberfest knows I am a journalist, playing the role of an executive convicted of white-collar crimes, who is here to attend his prison preparation programme. Mr Oberfest is the founder of IOP, a discreet prison training course for wealthy convicted executives. His business motto for prospective clients is: “Be prepared, instead of scared.”
His business is also a sign of the times. Since the stock market collapse of 2000, the public has become familiar with pictures of disgraced company executives forced to do the so-called “perp walk” - where they walk in handcuffs, escorted by armed policemen, in full view of the cameras. The fallout continues from these scandals [see below]. Mr Oberfest says he has had 12 clients a year for the past two years. “And the way things are going,” he says, “it'll just keep growing.” He refuses to reveal his client's identities, but leaves the impression that some are recognised names.
The idea for a white-collar pre-prison training course came to him when a client - concerned about a prospective stretch in jail - was referred to him for self-defence training. IOP has now helped people accused of crimes such as antitrust violations, financial and securities fraud, insider trading, economic espionage, counterfeiting and bribery.
Mr Oberfest, 36, is a native of Manhattan. A former nightclub bouncer, he now competes twice a month in mixed martial arts fighting, is a certified personal trainer, advocates meditation and is a Buddhist.
I ask if he speaks from experience in his course. “I look like I've been in prison, but I haven't,” he says with a chuckle. When putting the business together, he consulted prison officials, ex-convicts, legal authorities and lawyers. A typical programme costs $20,000 (￡11,000) for 100 hours of training, with shorter programmes available. They include lessons about prison life, including slang, physical and mental preparation and self-defence training. Today's programme is a condensed, three-hour version.
Mr Oberfest begins by telling me that this is the best time to learn meditation and exercise routines that will help me stay mentally and physically strong in prison.
“It's a place where nothing changes,” Mr Oberfest says, adding that everything in my day will be under someone else's control. He covers federal prison statistics: the system has more than 160,000 inmates (the state prisons system is far bigger), as well as the floor plan of my prison and the daily routine.
Mr Oberfest recommends that I discard certain desires and vices before going to jail. “Going in clean,” he says, keeps people out of trouble; to satisfy a vice, a newcomer inevitably becomes indebted to another prisoner. So I must stop smoking, drinking, drugs - if I take them - and having sex.
When entering jail I will arrive early, he says, and take nothing of value. My belongings will be taken, except for my watch - so bring a Timex, not a Rolex, he says. I will be given a job such as cooking, cleaning or yardwork. Work very hard, so sleep comes easily, he instructs.
Prison etiquette is critical. Behind bars, he says, “no one is a friend”. He wants me to mind my own business and never, ever, make eye contact with anyone.
I also learn new slang. A “two-digit midget” is a prisoner whose sentence is down to 99 days or less; a “10 per cent date” is when that percentage of jail time is left of the original sentence, meaning a prisoner can move into a halfway house.
Mr Oberfest then introduces me to my cell. He lays two crash mats on the floor, which together approximate my future living space. We enter and he shows me the bunk beds that I will share with my new roommate, the sink and the toilet with cinderblock walls.
Learning how to pass time here is vital. We sit on the floor and play checkers, using paper torn up into playing pieces. I also learn how to exercise in my cell.
I work my triceps, using the bed to anchor me. Other strength exercises such as bicep curls can be done with the help of a cellmate. While defending yourself in prison, Mr Oberfest advises moves that merely humiliate the attacker and signal your strength. The high incidence of HIV among prisoners makes it dangerous to draw blood - not to mention the fact that inflicting serious injury could extend your jail time.
“If you're going to hurt somebody, drag them into your cell, because then you have an excuse that they invaded your privacy,” he advises.
He asks me to charge him and try to grab his shirt. Immediately I find myself flying through the air, landing hard on my back. Use the attacker's momentum, he urges. Mr Oberfest, who is taller and outweighs me by at least 50 pounds, tries to grab me; by placing my left knee to the side of his right leg, I throw him to the ground quickly using my weaker left arm.
“And I was trying hard not to fall,” he says.
Some role playing, where I face a physically threatening situation in my cell,makes me feel uncomfortable, and not at all ready for prison. But Mr Oberfest says the trick is to be ready to feel uncomfortable. “I'm here to make you feel comfortable with ‘always feeling uncomfortable in prison',” he says.
No worries there, sir.
为白领罪人狱前培训
位于曼哈顿的美国联邦法院判决我犯有证券欺诈罪，即篡改商业记录及谋划骗局。尽管刑期尚未宣布，但我估计至少会入狱一年。
在太太的恳求下，我来到曼哈顿上东区一家名为失败者健身中心(Underdog Fitness)的私人健身房与教练见面，我将在这里学习顺利度过牢房生活。我战战兢兢地按响门铃，心中忐忑不安。
门开了，迎接我的人高大魁梧，粗壮的胳膊上刺有纹身。“嗨！我叫史蒂文?奥伯费斯特(Steven Oberfest)，负责‘监禁优化项目’（Incarceration Optimization Program，简称IOP）。”他一边语气温和地做着介绍，一边伸手示意我进入一间宽敞的健身房。
我边走边说，审讯和指控真是一种煎熬。他回答说，我的经历对他来讲并不陌生。我接着补充道，尤其是媒体的疯狂炒作，更是火上浇油。话说到此，两个人脸上都挤出一丝苦笑。
事实上，奥伯费斯特知道我的真实身份是记者，此次扮成犯有白领罪的高层主管，前来参加入狱准备课程。奥伯费斯特是监禁优化项目的发起人，开设隐密性的入狱培训，对象是那些被判入狱的、富有的公司高层主管。对于潜在客户，奥伯费斯特的口号是：“做好准备，不必恐惧。”
他的业务反映了时代趋势。自2000年股市崩溃以来，公众对丑闻公司的高层主管在媒体面前被押出办公室 (perp walk)的画面已习以为常：手铐加身、警察押送、闪光灯此起彼伏。这些丑闻依然余波尚存（见下文）。奥伯费斯特表示：“现在看来，这种情况还将继续。”他拒绝透露其客户身份，但我感觉有些是名人。
曾有一名客人，由于担心即将来临的狱中生活，被推荐到奥伯费斯特处接受自卫培训。这件事使奥伯费斯特起了开设白领狱前培训的念头。迄今为止，监禁优化项目已培训过各种白领罪犯，如反托拉斯法违规、金融证券欺诈、内幕交易、经济间谍、假冒伪造和行贿受贿。
奥伯费斯特来自曼哈顿，现年36岁。他曾是夜总会的保安，现在仍然每个月参加两次混合武术比赛。他是一名执业私人教练，提倡打坐静思，是个佛教徒。
我问他是否以自身经验来授课。他轻声笑着说：“我看上去像个坐过牢的人，其实没有。”在开展业务之前，他曾咨询过监狱官员、法律权威、律师和刑满释放的罪犯。培训项目通常收费为每100小时2万美元，另有一些短期班。课程内容涵盖监狱生活的方方面面，包括俚语、身心准备和自卫。今天我参加的是3个小时的浓缩课程。
奥伯费斯特一开始便告诉我，现在是学习静思和练习狱中例行程序的最好时机，将有助于我在狱中保持坚强和身体强壮。
奥伯费斯特说：“监狱里的一切都一成不变。”他补充道，我的举动随时随刻都受人控制。他向我介绍了监狱平面图，狱中程序，以及联邦监狱系统的数据：犯人数量超过16万（州监狱系统犯人数量更多）。
奥伯费斯特建议我在入狱前戒掉一些贪念和恶习。他告诫说：“干干净净地进去”会省去很多麻烦。如果不戒掉这些坏毛病，新犯人必定会向老犯人求助。因此，我必须戒掉烟酒毒品（如果我吸毒的话）和性生活。
他还说：入狱当天尽早到达，不要携带任何有价值的物品。除了手表以外，一切物品都会被没收，至于手表，他建议戴天美时 (Timex)，别戴劳力士(Rolex)。监狱会给我分配一项工作，如作饭、打扫卫生或狱区劳动。他告诫我要卖力工作，这样才能容易入睡。
掌握狱中规矩很关键。他认为，狱中“无朋友。”我要做的就是管好自己，绝不能和任何人有目光接触。
我还学会了一些新俚语。“两位数侏儒”(two-digit midget)指的是刑期仅剩不到99天的囚犯；“10%日期”(10 per cent date)指原判的刑期只剩10%，意味着囚犯可以转往过渡教习所。
奥伯费斯特随后开始介绍牢房。他在地上铺开两张粗布垫子，代表牢房的大小。进入牢房后，他逐个介绍里面的陈设，双层床（将和未来室友共用），以及 围有煤渣砖墙的洗涤池和卫生间。
学会在狱中打发时间很重要。我们坐在地板上玩跳棋，棋子是纸做的。我还学会了如何在牢房里锻炼身体。
我用床做支点来锻炼三头肌。在狱友的帮助下还可进行其它强度的活动，如肱二头肌训练。至于狱中自卫，奥伯费斯特建议采取羞辱进攻者、显示自身力量的动作。囚犯中爱滋病的发病率很高，因此搏斗中有人流血是很危险的，而且严重人身伤害还会延长刑期。
他建议说：“如果真要打某人，就将他拖入自己的牢房，因为这样你就有了借口，可以说他侵犯了你的隐私。”
他让我向他进攻，抓住他的衬衫。但是我却被举到空中，然后后背着地被重重地摔到了地上。他告诫我要利用进攻者的惯性。奥伯费斯特比我高，而且比我重至少50磅。他试着来抓我，我用左膝顶着他右腿一侧，然后用力量较弱的左臂将他迅速掀翻在地。
他说：“尽量避免摔倒。”
培训中的一些角色演习让我感觉很不舒服，比如牢房中对人身构成威胁的场景，使我无法做好入狱准备。但是，奥伯费斯特说，正是这些恶劣的情况，才需要事先做好准备。“我的目的是让你熟悉‘狱中不适感’。”
做到这一点可不难。
狱中惊闻：另有四位高层主管坐上被告席
弗兰克?奎特隆(Frank Quattrone)，瑞士信贷第一波士顿银行(Credit Suisse First Boston)前任明星银行家，被判有妨碍司法罪后，定于下周听候判决。
玛莎?斯图亚特(Martha Stewart)，美国家居时尚第一人，因对调查人员就出售英克隆公司(ImClone)股份一事撒谎，于上月被判监禁五个月。对此裁决，她正准备提出上诉。
如果她果真入狱，预计将在低或中级防备措施的女子监狱服刑，地点在康涅狄格州丹伯里市。
小本?格利森(Ben Glisan Jr)，安然公司(Enron) 前财务总监，正在一家低防备措施联邦监狱服刑，刑期5年，该监狱位于德克萨斯州奥斯汀城外的巴斯特罗普。
在震惊全美的丑闻后，格利森是第一个入狱的安然公司高层主管。
去年九月，他承认犯有一项串谋电信及证券欺骗的罪名。根据美国联邦监狱管理局的消息，预计他被释放的日期将是2008年1月17日。
安德鲁?法斯托(Andrew Fastow)，安然公司前首席财务长及其妻莉（Lea，也是该公司前雇员）已经承认有罪。法斯托太太上个月在休斯敦的一家联邦拘留所开始其一年的刑期。
