Tilting the Spotlight Back on You
How to Handle a Boss Who
Takes Credit for Your Work
Editor's Note: Work Therapy is an online feature that answers readers' questions about managing workplace stress and anxiety. Send questions to
worktherapy@wsj.com, and please indicate whether you would like your name associated with the question.
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Q: My boss is inappropriately praised for a lot of work she has nothing to do with. The problem is that she seems to feel a need to imply -- and sometimes outright state -- that she is responsible for the work done by me and others who report to her.
She creates the perception that she has a hand in (or is solely responsible for) every contribution our group makes. And it works great for her; she has received two promotions in the three years I've been at this job, while the most progress anyone who reports to her has made is to have the word "senior" added to our existing titles while we stay in the same pay grade.
How does one address this situation without seeming petty? (Or is this actually a petty complaint?)
A: Seething because someone stole your stapler is petty. So is hoarding all of the Splenda from the office kitchen. But feeling frustrated because you're not being recognized for a job well-done isn't. The best managers look for employees to build up and champion. What your boss is doing is the opposite of that.
"One of the things that is key for career advancement is finding a mentor or someone to promote you," says Stephen Gravenkemper, a psychologist with Plante & Moran, a management consulting firm. "Labels such as 'leadership potential' are defined early in a career."
That said, before you accuse your boss of using you to boost herself up the corporate ladder, make sure what she's doing is intentional. It's possible that from time to time she could confuse one of your contributions with hers.
"There are cases where people might hear something in a meeting and then two weeks later they might think it was their idea," says Dr. Gravenkemper. "If you give the supervisor the benefit of the doubt, it helps."
If you conclude your boss has taken credit for your work too many times for it to be an accident, you shouldn't rush to confront her about it. First, you need to prepare yourself for how she'll react when you bring it up. Is she someone who will scream, "How much stroking do you need?" or will she respond more civilly?
"You want to confront this in a way that ensures the supervisor is going to be receptive," says Dr. Gravenkemper. "Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. Do you know of any situations where she's gotten this feedback, and how did she respond?"
WORK THERAPY
Anxious that you're not doing a good job? Angry that your boss is taking credit for your work? Worried that a junior co-worker is going to leapfrog ahead of you? Write to
worktherapy@wsj.com with your workplace stresses for tips on how to cope. Please indicate if you don't want to be identified.If the answer is positively, you may want to proceed with a conversation. But steel yourself to the possibility that no matter how diplomatically you couch it, if you do confront your boss, you're airing a sensitive issue that puts you in direct conflict with her over who's doing what.
If you think a discussion is in order, think of a couple of specific examples from your recent experience when you felt she should have cited your accomplishments on a project and didn't. Bringing up the championship softball game from three summers ago that she took credit for winning even though she wasn't there won't be helpful.
Keep in mind that your goal when going into her office isn't to sound off about how upset you are. It's to get credit for your work to put yourself in line for a raise, promotion or any other attractive opportunity that bolsters your career. Comparisons to a spotlight-courting Paris Hilton will make her defensive. Instead, ask for advice about how you should solve the problem of not being recognized for your work.
"Say something like, 'I'm interested in getting credit for the work I've done,'" says Kenneth Lloyd, the author of "Jerks at Work: How to Deal with People Problems and Problem People." "'Maybe you can help me. How do I get credit for this?' It's almost like on Seinfeld when George says, 'It's not you, it's me.'"
Even though others in your group agree with you, limit your conversation to what you're feeling. Using the word "we" will make your boss feel ganged up on.
"You're soliciting her response," says James Quick, a professor of organizational behavior at the University of Texas at Arlington. "What that does is make it very clear that you're interested in a two-way communication. One-way communication shuts people down."
If your boss doesn't change her behavior after your discussion, you should try to make yourself more visible outside of your work group. Talk about your ideas with others who have influence in the company or volunteer for a project with people you don't normally interact with. Give your boss a heads-up that you're going to be seeking other projects, but be aware she may see it as a betrayal.
"It's not going away," says Dr. Lloyd. "To the extent it can, it will probably get worse. She's been promoted, and no one has said anything about it. If these employees just let it go, it's going to fester and the problem itself is going to get worse. This is not petty. This is really something where the employee should take action." And not just by hiding the boss's stapler.
Ultimately, if the situation doesn't improve, you may have to find a job outside your group or company, working for someone who will give you credit when it's due.
职场问答：如何获取应得的认可和赞赏
（编者按：职场问答栏目旨在解答读者有关工作压力和焦虑方面的问题。）
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问：我的老板经常因与她无关的工作而得到不应得的表扬。问题是：她似乎觉得有必要暗示别人──有时甚至是直截了当地表示──她负责我和其他下属的工作。
她的作法让人以为我们团队的每项成果她都有份（或者她是唯一的负责人）。她由此获益匪浅：我在这里工作的三年中，她已经获得两次提拔。而作为她的下属，我们所取得最大进步就是在现有的头衔前面加上了“高级”二字，不过薪金并没有任何变化。
我该如何应对这个问题，而又不会显得自己心胸狭窄呢？（或者这本身就是一个不足挂齿的牢骚？）
答：为别人拿走了你的订书机而大发雷霆，或者私藏办公室厨房中所有的Splenda糖，这些才是狭隘的表现。但是工作做得很棒却未得到应得的认可，为此感到沮丧就不能算在此列了。最好的经理人希望下属成长起来并且取得成绩。但是你的老板的所作所为却是背道而驰。
管理咨询公司Plante & Moran的心理学家斯蒂芬?格雷文肯珀(Stephen Gravenkemper)说：“职业发展的一个关键因素就是得到良师指点或者找到能提拔你的人物。‘具有领导潜能’等此类特点是在职业生涯早期形成的。”
在责备老板利用你往上爬之前，你要确认她的这些行为都是有意的。有时她可能会把你们的某些贡献和自己的混为一谈。
“有时候人们在一次会议上听到某个想法，过了两周他们或许就会认为这是他们自己的想法。”格雷文肯珀说，“如果你在不确定老板是否有意这样作的情况下对她作出正面的判断，这将对你有所帮助。”
如果你断定老板因你的工作成果而受到好评的次数太多了，绝非偶然事件，这时候你不应该急著去与她当面对质。首先你要做好准备应对她在你提出这个问题后所作出的反应。她是不是那种会大声质问“你到底需要多少赞扬”的人？或者她会更加礼貌地回应你的问题？
格雷文肯珀说，“你应该以一种能够让老板接受的方法来提出这个问题。过去的行为是对未来最好的预测。你知道她以前得到过类似的反馈吗，她当时作何反应？”
如果她的反应积极，你或许可以和她好好谈谈。但是你要做好准备接受各种可能。当你和老板面对面的时候，不论你如何精心措辞，你提出的都是一个有关这是谁的功劳的敏感话题，它会将你置于与老板直接对立的境地。
如果你认为讨论已步入正轨，那么想出几个最近发生的具体事情来说明问题，比如她应该在某个项目上提及你的贡献但她并没有这样做。而诸如她认为自己是三年前夏季垒球比赛夺得冠军的功臣（其时她当时根本不在场）的例子则毫无帮助。
一定要牢记，你走进她办公室的目的不是要发泄出你的心烦意乱。你的目的是为自己的工作赢得认可，让自己有望得到加薪、提拔或者其他任何有助于职业发展的机会。表现得像是爱出风头的帕里斯?希尔顿(Paris Hilton)会让她变得有戒心。相反，你可以就没有在工作中得到认可的问题征求她的意见。
《有人让你抓狂，你该怎么办》(Jerks at Work: How to Deal with People Problems and Problem People)的作者肯尼斯?劳埃德(Kenneth Lloyd)表示，“你可以说‘我很希望自己所作的工作得到认可。’‘或许你可以帮助我。我如何才能在工作中得到好评呢？’”
即使你的团队中有人和你有同感，你在和老板的交谈中也应尽限于表达自己的观点。使用“我们”这样的词语会让她觉得自己是在遭受围攻。
“你在恳求她的回应，”德克萨斯大学(University of Texas)组织行为学教授詹姆斯?奎克(James Quick)说。“这样做就是发出明确的信号，那就是你希望进行双向的交流。单向交流只会让别人闭嘴。”
如果你的老板在谈话后仍然我行我素，你应该尽力在你们的工作团队之外获得别人的注意。和在公司里有影响力的人物谈谈自己的想法，或者志愿参加你平时接触不到的人参与的项目。提醒你的老板：你准备寻求其他项目，不过你要明白她会把这些行为看作是对她的背叛。
“这种情况不会自动消失，”劳埃德说。“而且情况可能会变得更糟。她已经被提拔了，而且没有人对此有异议。如果这些雇员任其发展，问题会变得更糟糕。这不是心胸狭窄。在这种事情面前，雇员们必须采取行动。”而不仅仅是藏起老板的订书机。
如果情况最终没有好转，你或许不得不另谋高就了。这次一定要为那些能够认可你的成绩的人工作。
Kayleen Schaefer
