1.Love and Marriage1的15分钟语音对应的文本
1. Love and Marriage
SIDE A
Hello, We're here gathered together in holy matrimony, no actually we're here to talk about that sacred thing that we call marriage or living together.
Vivian: Um, Let's all introduce ourselves.
Daisy: O.K. Well I'm Daisy, and I'm married and I'm on the verge of divorce.
Bow: Hi, everybody, my name is Bow, and I'm married and I think the institution of marriage is just great.
Luke: Um, my name is Luke, um I'm still looking for that special someone to make all my dreams come true.
Vivian: Hey. I think, I'm Viv, and I think legal is regal but I don't need it so I have a perfectly happy relationship with someone and we don't plan to get married any time soon and perhaps never.
Luke: That was cool, those rhyme?? I wish I had thought of that.
Vivian: Anyways let's continue on.
Vivian: I'm sure each person agrees that everyone is made a little bit differently, uh... some people may be suitable for them and some may not be. And you may find the right companion for you, during your life time. And others find that they may choose to go another path now I'd be curious to find out how you feel about the companion in a marriage you know.., or children.., whatever. Go ahead, urn, Luke?
Luke: Well, I don't know, maybe I'm a bit of an optimist or something. But I think I haven't find her yet, but I believe that, there is a girl out there, that is just 100% compatible with me. Like the 100% perfect girl for me, and I just got to go out there and I got to see the world until I find her. And then totally I'm just gonna spend the rest of my life with her and there is no questions asked, um it will be, I'll know it when it's the time and it's gonna be great and I'm not gonna have to worry about anything.., and I'm gonna set myself up with a little piece of farm land and I'm just gonna make babies for the rest of my life.
Daisy: The three kids in the three bedroom house the whole deal.
Luke: Well, yeah to a degree. I just wanna drop-out, you know I wanna work hard now then I wanna drop by the society, I don't wanna be part of this rat i race anymore but I mean, I've got to stay interested in it, I've got to stay in the game and the only way you can do that, is just by being in love with someone who. I'm 100% on the level with and totally together with. And I have faith that I'll find her, hopefully soon.
Vivian: But what makes you feel that? Well I mean not that you won't find her but I'm saying why do you feel the drive or the need to find a companion in your life? And what makes you think that, that would be so nice? (Daisy: Where's the feeling?)
Luke: It's kind of empty without it, isn't it? I mean your whole world is made up of all these like individuals going around trying to find something in common with.., as many other people as possible. And just trying to like make a connection, but a whole bunch of really superficial connections like,... I don't know.., like what're your hobbies, what's your job, people join clubs to find people and so they can talk about similar things and so they can sort of have a common ground to start a relationship with.
Vivian: So (Daisy: Romantic.) you don't think that, you don't think that, there would be any reason or way, I mean do you think that this will be your lifetime partner? What about divorce? You don't see that in the picture? I mean, do you think that, by chance, you might end up with the wrong partner? And do you believe in perhaps remarriage or finding a second companion you weren't compatible.
Luke: No, I don't believe that at all, I think, everything that's been leading up to, urn, in my whole life in the relationships I've made with members of the opposite sex romantically, there's always been something missing, there's something that is not quite there, it doesn't click on some level, and you have this initial attraction maybe, but then as you find out more about each other, eventually you become a little bit, the passion fades and stuff, and you don't become that, and you're not into them anymore. But I think that it is possible to just click with somebody so well, and you just realize you just go on and go on, the attraction just gets better and better because as you discovering things about them you realize how much they have in common with you, but it's a very rare thing, I mean I don't think everybody necessarily even finds it in their life.., but I think that that is something we can strive for. The dating process is just like auditions you're just learning about people and then someone gets the parts, someone you cast in the leading role in your life.
Daisy: So you're determine to like search out that person and until you find that person you're satisfied with being alone or, or like maybe dating or,...
Luke: I'm happy dating and stuff, but I don't do it just for the sake of doing and like I definitely have an ulterior motive that's, I wanna find that person, it's a, it's a ...there's a definitely I mean to, I mean I'm trying to have fun in the meantime, but there's that emptiness there, that's, that's just, you know, by playing the field I just don't get that, that support I need.
Vivian: Ah So you're a sensitive guy, and you're looking for that Mrs right.
Luke: No, well, if you wanna put it in Dear Abbey terms, yeah I guess so
Vivian: Ok. Well, let's move on to Bow then. Bow, you're in a very stable marriage with three kids. I mean, you're happy where you are?
Bow: I'm extremely happy. It's probably the best decision I've ever made in my life, and I totally see where... Luke is coming from, I mean being my brother and all we are pretty much, you know, sensitive guys, so ... um ... yeah. I went through the same thing as him and ... it's tough in the beginning, I mean it's hard to find that Mrs. Right, but if you just keep looking and your compassionate about it, you do find her and you do,.., and the institution of marriage is just the ultimate thing for a man. It's just great, it's the fusion of not just your bodies but also your souls, you're soul mates.
Daisy: And what made Mary Lou so right for you, Bow?
Bow: It must have been, like, she just had twinkle in her eye. I could see deep into her soul, like I just knew that her soul and my soul were like two souls that, we're made for each other.
Vivian: One soul.
Luke: You lucky dog. See that's what I want see that's what I want to look at that I'm just like, that's it, man.
Bow: You can get there. You will someday, man.
Daisy: Right, well, see, you know, I'm kind of in the opposite situation from you guys, because, uh... well, what can I say, I was looking, I thought for exactly the same things, and I thought I'd found Mr. Right, and we've been married now for five years. And we've... I really, I have to admit I've tried. I really have tried, I put in the time.
Vivian: Did you love him when you first married him? And up to what point did you think that you loved him. I mean do you still love him?
Luke: When did it fade, when did it change?
Vivian: And why?
Daisy: Oh, well, I don't know, I cannot put this into words. Let me see, well, for me, yes, I did love him. I was both in love and in lust with him, when I met him.
Vivian: And did he love you too, I mean, was it a mutual thing, you really had that love, I mean... Luke There, That's the only way it works.
Daisy: I think so, I think, I really think that he did feel that way, you know, the thing is it that, it's really easy to be idealistic, and when you're in the white dress in your, you have this wonderful guy who's proposing to you. And, and your, there's the whole Cinderella, you know fairy tale ideal that's behind a wedding. And um, here I was walking down the aisle thinking that everything was gonna be wonderful, we were gonna have the three kids the house and the dog, and the B.M.W. in the drive way. And um, all of a sudden we had the house, and ok we didn't have children but.., there was something missing. And we... I think we started this on just an ideal and we weren't prepared for the realities of marriage. It's much more than those ideals.
Luke: Well, it's nothing, but it's nothing that's insurmountable, it's not anything that you can't overcome with communication, and genuine concern for the other person's well-being.
Daisy: Yeah, but the thing is where I'm at now, Luke is, I really, I don't know, if I can go on anymore, I mean, I think we've passed the point, maybe we should have been doing that communicating way back before, and now I'm in this situation where, I don't really wanna be with him, do I love him? I love him in the sense that I care about him, because I've been with him for a long time, I don't want anything bad happen to him. I wanna be able to help him as a friend if possible, but I'm certainly not in lust with him, and here's the thing I'm at this point in my marriage where I wanna be with other people. I, basically I wanna go out, and I want to be with other people.
Bow: Oh, that's a shame.
Vivian: What about, if you're in the circumstance, I mean, what if your situation involved children? I mean, would you still think of ending the relationship, I mean.., what about children?
Daisy: Yes, that's, well, all I can say is that I'm thankful that I don't. But you know, I think that would make it much more difficult, but in today's day and age maybe we could have a relationship where I have the kids one week and they have the kids the other week.
Vivian: So, is that what you gonna do with your poodle?
Daisy: Well, Yes, I mean that's another thing. I don't know what I'm gonna do with the dog either. But...
Luke: The dog is just a superficial thing.., that's just some sort of thing that you were using as some kind of glue to keep yourselves together. I think you should give it another chance, I mean, you've got this person, you've obviously made it this far, well, what you need to do is bring it to the next level. You need to have a child, you need to make, need to make an another commitment, I mean, life is just a series of commitments, (Daisy: But, the what about...) You got to go deeper and deeper and keep challenging yourself and then ... it's too easy, people just throw things out when they don't work out (Vivian: No.) and it's too easy. You've got to start seeing things through. I think, well, that's, that's your prerogative, but I think that people have to continue to challenge themselves and to continue to commit themselves to things and then they realize only down the road, I've made these commitments, "Oh my, God, I've had a very rich and fulfilling and beautiful life. And a child would be the thing that you need right now, to get yourselves back on the same track, to get yourselves together and to get back on that horse and, go out there and have a beautiful loving relationship again.
Bow: I totally agree.
Vivian: Well, I totally don't, I don't think Daisy has to go back to, I mean, to find another commitment to hold her in there, to string her into this relationship. I mean, she wants to find freedom, she wants to go find another soul mate, let her be. Why should she be tied down?
Daisy: Well, It wasn't necessarily a soul mate. It was just kind of um... mates.
Bow: Was it a one night stand?
Daisy: Yeah.
Bow: And turned into a marriage?
Daisy: No, no, no, no, I was talking about when I get a divorce. I wasn't looking for other soul mates, just mates.
Luke: I bet you're looking for just like sexual partners.
Daisy: Well, at the moment, yes.
Luke: Well, you can't do it like that, I mean this is what I've been doing, this is the dilemma I have. I'm empty, I'm like a, I'm just like an empty vessel floating through the sea, because I don't have that anchor to hold me to anything.
Daisy: Well, you know, we are just basically extremes on one scale, aren't we, Luke?
Luke: Well, I guess so, but I just would say from my position, I mean the grass can look always greener from where you're sitting, but I mean, it isn't always necessarily so, and I think that you think you'll gain all this freedom and stuff, but you're losing a whole lot of really important things.
Daisy: Well, Toucher, You might come over to my green grass, and not find it so green.
Luke: Well, Yeah. but I haven't experienced what you've experienced, yet. I never had that, that happy unity with one other person. And stuck it out for five years. I've never been able to do that.
Bow: But I have, and I agree with Luke. I think that instead of looking for other sexual escapade, you should be looking for the new partner in your life, your soul mate. I mean it's.., there's nothing like having this like mutual respect for one each other, it's like a, let me give you an example like I work, you know a little bit.., like after seven o'clock sometimes, and you know, I might wanna go out and have a couple of beers with, my, my colleagues so, you know, I'll be back by ten, and I call my, my wife and I say "Darling, I'm gonna be a little late maybe about 10: 30" and she's like "Darling, no problem".
Luke: That's beautiful.
Bow: I mean that's, that's mutual respect.
Luke: Yes, that's beautiful, and I mean, that's, what it's all about, it's not like you've got an albatross around your neck anything. It's liberating, I think, I think once you find it, you realize that you have a whole different realm of freedom that you weren't even aware existed. (Bow: Totally) Freedom to be yourself, freedom to like fully give of yourself to another person. That's true freedom, that's true freedom.
Daisy: Well sure, it's freedom for you guys who work and get to go out, and lead good lives, while your wife is at home cooking and, cleaning, and she has no, you know, personal satisfaction.
Luke: I'll stay at home. I'd love to stay at home.
Bow: Um, Well me, personally, I mean, I have my own chores every day, we share the responsibilities of the house. I do laundry, I wash dishes, and I'm, you know I'll come home beat dead from work, at like nine or something, I mean, really late, I'd go to bed by like ten. But, I mean, my wife is watching the baby all day, and she might have like corns and calices on her feet, they might stink but, I'll still massage them, until my finger's almost bleed. And, I mean, that's what marriage is about.
Daisy: Well I don't know many guys like you, two.
Vivian: And I certainly don't.
Daisy: And I don't think there are a lot of men that are willing to do that.
Vivian: Willing to sacrifice, yeah.
Luke: They're everywhere, men just are, just looking for the excuse, they have all this, macho posturing and stuff that they just wanna go out and, and meet a lot a chicks, bust that's all a ruse. It's just because they're insecure ...
Daisy: And you don't wanna have sex with other women?
Vivian: Oh, but he does. He's saying he is experimenting until he finds that right one.
Luke: But the sex isn't just an incidental. I'm not doing it, I'm not doing it in pursuit of sex, I'm not, I'm looking for someone who, who I'm compatible with sexually but also emotionally, and like (psycho...) intellectually.
Daisy: Well, then why is it wrong for me to go out and have, um and play the field and have sex with other people and find my soul mate?
Luke: I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just saying, I'm just saying that you made this decision and there's a certain sanctity to marriage, but I think that, that it's sacred, and you have to uphold it no matter what, no matter what life throws at you, you've made this decision, and you didn't do it, just because it was a fluke, I don't believe any marriages happen by accident. I think that if you're gonna go that far, it's magic, and you know its magic, and you know it's gonna work out, yeah.
Vivian: Well, see, but she doesn't feel it, she doesn't know that it's magic. She doesn't feel it at all.
Luke: But, at that time, she did. She's just lost something that used to just be there, and she just has to rekindle that again. It's still there, (Daisy: But it's gone.) it's doesn't just go away you don't. People just don't like have something and it disappears. (Vivian: What if she's mistaken?) I mean, well, that she must have mistaken, well, then ... (Vivian: In the last it all?) I don't think she did. I don't think she did. I don't think that people make mistake like that. When it comes to matters of the heart, I think you know, you know right off the bat. Matters of the heart, you can be wrong about math equations, and you can be wrong about, like your positions on things or like on historical facts. But on matters of the heart you're always right. You can't, I mean intuition is everything.
