Rich, Successful -- and Miserable: New Research Probes Mid-Life Angst
There really is a midlife crisis.
If you're in your 40s, you are probably pulling down a bigger paycheck than ever before, and your portfolio has never been fatter. And yet, if research by economists and psychologists is any guide, you have never been more miserable.
What's going on here -- and what can you do about it? Here are some lessons from the burgeoning field of "happiness research."
? Pounding the treadmill. Numerous studies have found that our happiness level through our lives follows a U-shape, with folks becoming increasingly dissatisfied as they approach their 40s and then bouncing back from there.
"That U-shape is just so robust, across so many studies and across so many countries," says Keith Bender, an economics professor at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. "You can't get away from it entirely. But you can do things to mitigate it."
It isn't clear why we become grumpy in middle age. It could be that we become increasingly disenchanted through our 20s and 30s as we realize our lives won't be everything we hoped. Eventually, however, we adapt, which is why our happiness rises as we grow older.
Alternatively, it could be that midlife unhappiness reflects the pressure of time, with folks in their 40s caught between family demands and long hours at work.
"In middle age, when you are at the peak of your career and you're having kids, time is your scarce resource," says David Schkade, professor of management at the University of California at San Diego. "You're too busy to improve how you feel."
Whatever the cause of midlife unhappiness, don't expect your next salary increase to make it all better. Yes, folks with higher incomes tend to be happier. And, yes, a jump in your salary will briefly boost your spirits.
But soon enough, you will get used to the higher income and you will once again find yourself with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction. Experts sometimes refer to this as the "hedonic treadmill" or "hedonic adaptation," the notion that we rapidly adapt to improvements in our lives -- and thus can end up feeling little or no better off.
? Losing the glow. Hedonic adaptation doesn't just occur with every pay raise. You see the same process with a slew of other events, both good and bad.
Feeling dissatisfied? You might be tempted to get married or have children, both of which can bolster happiness. Similarly, you are likely to be more satisfied if you take a job where your work schedule is flexible, you don't have a long commute, you work fewer hours or you have a more senior position.
"The most important thing, if you can pull it off, is to get job security," says Andrew Oswald, an economics professor at England's Warwick University. "In international data and U.S. data, it is the single strongest correlate with overall job satisfaction."
Yet none of these changes is a cure-all. While a promotion or a more secure job is desirable, it's unlikely to bring a large, permanent increase in your level of happiness. As with a big pay raise, you will quickly adapt to your improved circumstances -- and you may end up only marginally happier than you were before.
The data relating to children is especially jarring. Think having kids will make everything better? Reported happiness does indeed rise as the birth of a first child approaches. But the data indicate that parents' happiness tends to plummet immediately afterward.
"It's possible that having children has a positive effect over the long run," says Richard Lucas, a psychology professor at Michigan State University. "But having children also comes with lots of day-to-day challenges," making time-stressed couples feel even more overwhelmed.
The tendency for spikes in happiness to fade may seem like grim news. There is, however, a silver lining.
Not surprisingly, the death of a spouse, losing your job, ill health and getting divorced can all cause great unhappiness. But adaptation comes to the rescue. Folks usually adjust to these setbacks -- and within a few years their reported happiness often returns to earlier levels.
? Smelling the roses. What can you do about all this, particularly if you are in your 40s and feeling glum? Consider three strategies.
First, research suggests you can boost happiness by "counting your blessings." Sure, this sounds hokey. But according to experts, pausing occasionally to appreciate what you have may counteract the tendency to take improvements in your life for granted.
Second, think carefully about how you spend your spare time. The temptation is to opt for stuff that seems fun or easy, especially if you are getting run ragged at the office.
But studies indicate you will likely be happier if you make a point of trying activities that are enriching or challenging, such as volunteering or taking up a new exercise program, Prof. Schkade says. Be sure to mix it up a little, so these activities remain stimulating and you don't fall victim to hedonic adaptation.
Third, cultivate friendships. Research indicates that friends are one of the biggest contributors to happiness. Want proof? Check out the list in the accompanying chart. Among the most enjoyed activities, socializing with friends ranks second only to sex.
中年危机的“幸福研究”
的确有中年危机这回事。
如果你已经40出头，那么你工资单上的数字可能比以前任何时候都高，你的投资组合也要比以前任何时候都丰厚。但是且慢，如果经济学家和心理学家的研究有点指导意义的话，你也要比以前任何时候都更加焦头烂额。
这是怎么回事儿？现在该怎么办呢？让我们来看看刚刚兴起的“幸福研究”的几项收获。
很多研究都发现，我们一生的幸福曲线往往都会走出一个U字。快到40岁的时候，人们会对自己的生活越来越不满。但过了这个坎儿，又会一天比一天满意起来。
“这个U形真的是生命力旺盛，这么多国家这么多研究里，处处可见它的身影。”威斯康辛大学密尔沃基分校(University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee)的经济学教授基思?本得(Keith Bender)说，“你根本无法彻底摆脱这个过程，但可以想办法让拐弯拐得缓一点儿。”
目前还不清楚为什么人到中年就会忧郁焦虑。有可能是我们终于认识到生活不会事事如愿，也就不再像20岁30岁时那样激情满怀了。但是，随著年岁渐长，我们最终会适应现实，幸福感也就慢慢提高了。
也许，中年的苦恼源于强大的时间压力。40多岁的朋友们夹在亲人的需要和工作的压力中穷于应付。
“中年往往正值事业发展的最高峰，但还有儿女绕膝，时间就成了最稀缺的资源，”加州大学圣地牙哥分校(University of California at San Diego)的管理学教授大卫?施卡得(David Schkade)说，“此时分身乏术，哪里还顾得上奢谈什么幸福感。”
且不论中年苦恼的原因到底是什么，怎么也不要指望下一次加薪就能一劳永逸解决种种烦恼。当然，薪水越高人就会越开心；又当然，加薪会让人精神一振。
但很快你就会对涨后的薪水习以为常，再次坠入苦恼忧虑的深渊。专家们有时把这种现象称为“快乐水车”(hedonic treadmill)，或者“享乐适应”。也就是说，人们很快就会把生活的改善视为无物，对幸福的感受没有丝毫改变。
“享乐适应”并不是只出现在每次加薪的时候，人们在其他情况下也出现这样的心绪，无论事情是好是坏。
对生活不满？那你可以尝试结婚或者生孩子，这都能提升幸福感。同样地，如果能换一份工作，让时间安排更加灵活、或者路程更近、或者工作时间更短，或者职位更高，都能让人感觉更加幸福。
“最重要的事情，如果你能做到，那就是确保工作稳定。”英格兰Warwick大学的经济学教授安德鲁?奥斯瓦尔德(Andrew Oswald)说。“从国际性调查研究和美国研究得到的数据来看，这是与整体工作满意度相关性最强的一项。”
但是，以上种种均非万验灵丹。升职或者更加稳定的工作当然好，但不太可能让幸福指数大幅度、永久性地上升。一次大幅度的加薪之后，人们很快就会适应周围种种变化，然后幸福指数较之以前只会有很小幅度的上涨。
与孩子有关的幸福度的变化就更大了。要个孩子的想法能让一切变得更美好吗？种种研究表示，随著第一个孩子的降生，父母的幸福指数的确步步攀升。但是，研究数据也表明，父母的幸福感在孩子降生之后就会大幅下滑。
“养孩子有可能是个长期有利因素，”密歇根州立大学(Michigan State University)心理学教授理查德?卢卡斯(Richard Lucas)说，“但养育孩子会带来众多日复一日的麻烦”，让本来就时间不宽裕的父母更觉得疲于奔命。
幸福指数暴涨之后就会渐渐消退，这真是个令人丧气的消息。不过，我们还是能看到一线希望。
诚然，丧偶、失业、疾病和离婚都会带来巨大的痛苦。但是，慢慢适应也是一条救赎之道。人们会逐渐调整适应种种打击，过几年，幸福感就会回到原来的水平。
面对这一切该怎么办呢？尤其是你已经40出头，而且苦恼不已的时候，该怎么办呢？让我们看看以下三条策略：
首先，研究结果表示，你可以通过“想想自己现在的幸福”来提升幸福度。听起来假惺惺的？但专家们都说，不时停下脚步，回顾并珍视现有的一切，可能会帮人们减缓将一切视为当然的进程。
其次，仔细考虑如何享受闲暇。通常人们都会做些看起来很有趣或者很轻松的事，尤其是在办公室里忙得焦头烂额之后。
但是，研究表明，如果尝试一些能够充实生活，或者充满挑战的活动，很可能会让我们感到更加幸福。施卡得教授举例说，做义工或者尝试新的锻炼项目，都是不错的选择。但一定要注意把各项活动安排得当，让自己总是为此充满激情，这样才不会再次陷入“享乐适应”的怪圈。
最后，广交朋友。研究表明，朋友是幸福感的重要来源之一。想要证据？在人们最感到享乐的活动中，与朋友交往仅次于性生活，排名第二。
