What Is Success, Anyway?
It used to be so simple: If we saw a job with more money, we grabbed it. Now, it's all about trade-offs.
Bill And Sara knew what they wanted, with an ambition they took no pains to hide. They were college friends of mine who joined little Florida newspapers in 1980, right after graduation. But they had no intention of staying put for very long.
Less than a year later, they showed up on my doorstep in Brooklyn, N.Y., wearing beach clothes on a chilly day and needing a place to stay. They had lined up job interviews in the Big Apple with more prestige, more responsibility -- and lots more money. Goodbye, flip-flops. Hello, Brooks Brothers!
THE JOURNAL REPORT
See the complete Your Money Matters report.Back then, job-hopping was the obvious ticket to success -- and happiness. The goal was clear and simple: a bigger paycheck. More money proved you were on the right track.
Now it's a little more complicated.
Unreliable Guideposts
Lots of us still go job prospecting every now and then. Sometimes we even make the leap to something new. But there's a lot more agonizing over which switches make sense -- and which ones ultimately just aren't wise. As we get further along in life, the size of the next pay stub isn't nearly as reliable a guidepost as it used to be.
For one thing, we're a lot shrewder in spotting the hidden ugly side of some high-paying positions. Some jobs, for instance, sound alluring, until you take a hard look at the travel involved. Oversee a bigger territory -- and your Thursday evening routine is likely to involve a barstool, a Personal Pizza and the Denver airport.
We also ponder whether our new colleagues and bosses will pass the "good people" test. No matter how fancy the title or how big the paycheck, we soon learn that it isn't worth joining an organization full of jerks, morons or crooks. In recent years, I've seen two friends shake hands on high-paying job switches and then back out within a matter of days because they suddenly realized there was something toxic about the new workplace.
In other cases, money doesn't define our ambitions as much. Extra cash is nice, but as we enter our 40s and 50s, intangibles like autonomy and personal expression start making a bigger difference, too. I've turned down a couple of high-paying offers to write books because the editors in charge seemed too controlling, with strategic visions that just didn't make sense to me. Instead, it was a lower-paying offer that brought the most freedom and fulfillment.
In fact, sorting out such trade-offs becomes the defining struggle of midcareer life. We have grown used to the chase for success, and sometimes it can be hard to step off that track. We also hate to retrench so much that upstarts and plodders overtake us. Yet we have families and hobbies that clamor for time, too. None of us wants to job hop our way to ruin, becoming the pitiable workaholic with the busted marriage and the empty mansion.
Then Again...
Of course, some high-paying jobs really do turn out to be passports to a better life. One of the happiest people I know is a former Wall Street salesman who quit his job in the mid-1990s to set up his own investment fund. He is making easily five times what he did before. That has translated into lots of wonderful toys as well as a chance to become a major civic leader.
Equally important, the everyday pace of work has become cheerier, too. Those 6:40 a.m. flights to see clients are just distant memories; in his new job, people travel to see him instead. He now gets to choose his office team and decide whether to work in jeans, chinos or a suit. If something annoys him, he doesn't need anyone else's permission to change it.
For most of us, such wonderful alignments of money and freedom never quite happen. In professions that charge by the project -- such as advertising, law, accounting or medicine -- the highest-paying opportunities are likely to gouge deepest into people's hopes of enjoying a balanced life.
I see this with physician friends all the time. Doctors in solo practice can earn the most, but they risk being run ragged by on-call hours that never stop. By joining big group practices, they gain help with evening and weekend coverage. Yet they surrender some income and autonomy in return, and that's never easy to do.
Up and Away
The gutsiest people simply walk away from career tracks they don't like, sacrificing pay if necessary for a new job that connects with their greatest passions. My wife and I met one of those people this summer when we went ballooning in Utah. Our adventure leader, Will, turned out to be a former photocopier salesman -- and by his account, a pretty successful one.
Success, however, came at a moral price. "I learned all the tricks," Will told us. "I knew how to walk into an office and jam up the paper in their existing copier. Then I would tell them that their copier was broken and would keep breaking. I got a lot of sales that way. And I hated it."
I didn't have the nerve to ask Will what his new line of work pays, but it can't be nearly as good. His gross annual income from 100 days of ballooning is about $100,000. Against that, he has expenses for fuel, supplies, assistants' labor, drive time, marketing and insurance. I would be surprised if he nets more than $40,000 a year.
All the same, there was no forgetting his ebullient grin as we got airborne. Ballooning was his greatest joy. If he could scratch out even a modest income doing what he loved, that was perfect.
Now, Will also had a financial advantage many of us don't have: He was a single man with no children. He could enjoy his new career without worrying about tuition or feeding and clothing an entire family, week after week.
Most of us don't enjoy that much freedom. To some extent, we can pick jobs we like and eschew ones we don't if the pay gap is modest. But as much as we may enjoy an occasional balloon ride, we aren't throwing away our laptops and our business cards so we can buy propane, wicker baskets and rainbow-colored canopies.
In 2002, I watched two ambitious executives in their early 50s -- both idled during the tech slump -- wrestle with all these issues during their own job hunts. One of them wanted to get back to work fast, proving to the world that he was still CEO material. He got a job quickly, but it turned out to be a quagmire. The other took his time. He turned down a lot of opportunities that paid well but didn't pass his nonfinancial tests. And when he finally accepted a new job, it turned out to be an ideal blend of prestige, opportunity and excitement.
Strikingly, even my old go-getter friends from Florida have widened their horizons, too. After they went their separate ways, Bill job hopped all through the 1990s. He soared up some organization charts; he also made some missteps. Now he chooses jobs more carefully. Sara opted for stability, picking one steady employer and settling into a Sunbelt community that she loves.
Bill lasted longer in the nonstop sprint for traditional success. But I think Sara figured out faster how to put all the pieces together and enjoy a happy life.
成功是什么？
那时，比尔和萨拉知道自己想要什么，他们丝毫不掩饰自已的雄心壮志。他们是我的大学同学，1980年一毕业就到佛罗里达的一家小报社工作。但他们不想呆在那里很久。
过了不到一年，有一天他们来到我在纽约布鲁克林的家，那天寒风凛冽，而他们却穿着海滩度假的衣服，急需栖身之所。他们要在纽约参加多场招聘面试，寻找更体面、更有挑战--收入当然也更高的工作。再见，夹脚凉鞋；Brooks Brothers，我们来了！（编者：Brooks Brothers系美国一时装品牌。）
那时候，跳槽显然是进入成功--乃至幸福之门的入场券。跳槽者的目标简单而明确：得到更高的薪水。收入的增加意味着你走对了路。
但现在的情况似乎复杂了一点。
我们当中很多人都会时不时地留意有什么新的工作机会。有时，我们甚至来一个大跳跃，去做点全新的事，但也有很多人为此苦恼不已，不知道哪个转变是真正有意义的。随着我们在人生道路上越走越远，下一份工作薪水的高低不再是一个可靠的路标。
一方面，我们比过去更善于发现一份高薪水工作背后的阴暗面。比如有些工作听起来很诱人，但当你考虑到要频繁出差，它就是不是那么有吸引力了。担任更高级的地区主管意味着周四晚上你很可能要在丹佛机场Personal Pizza店的高脚凳上度过。
我们也会考虑新同事和新老板是否符合我们心目中的'好人'标准。不管职位的名头有多大，薪水有多高，我们很快就会知道为此加入一个怪胎、白痴、骗子层出不穷的集体是不值得的。最近几年，我有两位朋友因高薪水而跳槽，但不到几天就打退堂鼓，因为他们突然意识到新的工作环境有很灰暗的一面。
还有一种情况，即钱不足以满足我们的抱负。多一点收入固然好，但随着我们慢慢步入40岁、50岁，独立掌控、自我表现等无形需求开始变得很重要。我曾经拒绝了几个报酬颇丰的写书邀请，原因是主编似乎控制很严，他们的战略远见在我看来没有什么意义。与此相反，有一个邀请虽然报酬低一些，但能够给我很大的自由以及自我实现的最大空间。
事实上，选择转换工作的机会成为我们职业生涯中期的决定性较量。我们在成长过程中习惯了追求成功，有时真的很难从这样一条路上退下来。我们也不愿意由于放慢脚步而被后起之秀和玩命工作的人抛在后面。然而，我们有家庭要照顾，有个人爱好想发展，这些都需要时间。没有人想让工作毁掉自己的生活，变成一个婚姻失败、独守空房、只知道工作的可怜虫。
当然，有些高薪工作的确是打开一个更美好的生活格局的通行证。我有一个朋友很幸运，原来在华尔街当业务员，90年代中辞职自己开了一家投资基金公司，轻轻松松挣的钱是以前的五倍。现在他不光能够享受更多的乐趣，还有机会参与市政事务。
此外，每天的工作节奏也变得更加令人愉悦起来了。早上6:40就要坐飞机去见客户的经历一去不复返，现在，倒是别人要千里迢迢赶来见他。他现在可以挑选办公团队，决定上班时是穿牛仔裤还是西装。要是遇到不顺心的事，他不用获得其他人的批准就可以去改变。
对于我们大多数人来说，这种金钱和自由兼得的好事从未有缘碰上。对于广告、法律、会计、医疗这些按专案收费的职业来说，高收入机会很可能使得人们更迫切希望享受平衡的生活。
我在当医生的朋友身上经常看到这一点。单独开诊所的医生挣钱最多，但随时候命的工作方式几乎毁掉他们的生活，因为要不停地工作。如果加入大的医疗机构，夜晚和周末就不用工作，代价是要损失一部分的收入和自主权，而作这样的牺牲也是一点都不容易。
有勇气的人会毫不犹豫地离开自己不喜欢的工作，必要的时候牺牲掉一些收入，以换取一个让他们最 有激情的新岗位。今年夏天，我和太太在犹他州乘热气球旅行时就遇到一位这样的朋友。我们的历险导游威尔(Will)原来是一名影印机推销员，据他所说，他当时还作得相当成功。
然而，成功要有道德上的代价。“我学会所有欺骗人的伎俩，”威尔告诉我们，“我走进一家办公室，让纸卡在人家已有的影印机里，然后告诉他们机器坏了，而且以后会经常发生这样的问题。我用这种方法得到很多生意。可我憎恨这种行为。”
我们没敢问威尔他的新工作的收入是多少，但肯定不会有原来那么多。他每年100天的热气球旅行的毛收入大约是10万美元，除去燃料费、设施费、助手的人工费、高峰期费用、营销费用和保险费，如果每年他的净收入能有4万多美元，就相当不错了。
在空中旅行的途中，他热情的笑容给我们留下了深刻的印象。驾驶热气球是他的最爱。如果能从自己锺爱的事情中挣得一点绵薄的收入，已经是完美的了。
另外，威尔现在拥有一个我们很多人都没有的财务优势：单身，没有孩子。他可以尽情享受自己的新职业，不用日复一日地担心孩子的学费，也不用操心怎样让一家子吃饱穿暖。
我们当中大多数人都没有福气消受这样的自由。某种程度来说，如果收入差别不太大，我们可以选择自己喜欢的工作，抛弃那些不喜欢的。然而，虽然我们能偶尔体验一次气球旅行的乐趣，但也不能就此扔掉手提电脑和名片，否则就没有钱购买丙烷燃料、柳条篮和像彩虹一样缤纷的遮蓬。
2002年的时候，我目睹了两位50出头的、雄心勃勃的高管人员在科技公司低谷时期的职业选择过程。其中一位想尽快重新拼命工作，以向全世界证明自己还是做CEO的料。他很快就找到了一份工作，但进展并不顺利。而另一位则不慌不忙，他拒绝了很多高薪但不符合其非金钱要求的工作机会，而最终选择的新工作完美地实现了名誉、机会和激情的组合。
值得一提的是，甚至连我那两位积极能干的佛罗里达朋友也拓宽了生活的天地。两个人分道扬镳后，比尔在整个90年代都在不断地跳槽，在一些公司里青云直上，但也失足的时候。现在他选择职业比过去谨慎了。萨拉则喜欢稳定，她挑了一位稳定的雇主，在自己心仪的一个Sunbelt社区安顿下来。
比尔在不停歇地追逐传统名利的冲刺中比萨拉更能坚持，但我认为萨拉比比尔更快地领悟到如何从生活的点点滴滴中享受快乐的人生。
George Anders
