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LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" ,and Immersed himself into a pool of vodka.The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."

LESSON IV - THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.

大家注意了，开始讲笑话了！至于笑不笑，由你！

钓不到鱼

　　姐姐：“沉鱼落雁的故事是说：西施长得太美了，连鱼都自觉比不上，所以沉到水下……”
　　妹妹：“怪个得我每一次都钓不到鱼。”

　　玩笑

　　教堂中正在举行婚礼，教堂外皮皮对东东说：
　　“无聊死了，有没有什么好玩的？”
　　“玩什么好呢？”
　　“对！去和新郎开个玩笑。”
　　“开什么玩笑呢？”
　　“我们一齐走到他的面前，大声叫他爸爸。”

妙　　答

　　一名游击队员正在给孩子们讲战斗故事，他忽然向一个12岁男孩提出问题：“科诺普卡，假如你是游击队的指挥员，为了不让敌人使用铁路，游击队应该采取什么行动？”
　　科诺普卡站起来大声回答：“必须迅速占领售票处，并烧毁全部车票！”

　认　　鸡

　　汽车把一只鸡轧死了。司机问一个小孩：
　　“这鸡是你家的吗？”
　　“一切都很象。不过我家的鸡没这么扁。”

　理　　发

　　亮亮到理发店理发，他对理发师傅说：“"叔叔，请你给我理个光头。”
　　理发师傅很纳闷，问道：“你小小年纪，理个光头干什么？”
　　亮亮回答说：“马上要期末考试了，我一考试不及格，我爸爸就要揪我的头发。”

阴影是条纸龙

人生中，经常有无数来自外部的打击，但这些打击究竟会对你产生怎样的影响，最终决定权在你手中。

祖父用纸给我做过一条长龙。长龙腹腔的空隙仅仅只能容纳几只蝗虫，投放进去，它们都在里面死了，无一幸免！祖父说：“蝗虫性子太躁，除了挣扎，它们没想过用嘴巴去咬破长龙，也不知道一直向前可以从另一端爬出来。因而，尽管它有铁钳般的嘴壳和锯齿一般的大腿，也无济于事。”

当祖父把几只同样大小的青虫从龙头放进去，然后关上龙头，奇迹出现了：仅仅几分钟，小青虫们就一一地从龙尾爬了出来。

提示：命运一直藏匿在我们的思想里。许多人走不出人生各个不同阶段或大或小的阴影，并非因为他们天生的个人条件比别人要差多远，而是因为他们没有思想要将阴影纸龙咬破，也没有耐心慢慢地找准一个方向，一步步地向前，直到眼前出现新的洞天。

永远的坐票

生活真是有趣：如果你只接受最好的，你经常会得到最好的。 有一个人时常出差，经常买不到对号入坐的车票。可是无论长途短途，无论车上多挤，他总能找到座位。 他的办法其实很简单，就是耐心地一节车厢一节车厢找过去。这个办法听上去似乎并不高明，但却很管用。每次，他都做好了从第一节车厢走到最后一节车厢的准备，可是每次他都用不着走到最后就会发现空位。他说，这是因为像他这样锲而不舍找座位的乘客实在不多。经常是在他落座的车厢里尚余若干座位，而在其他车厢的过道和车厢接头处，居然人满为患。他说，大多数乘客轻易就被一两节车厢拥挤的表面现象迷惑了，不大细想在数十次停靠之中，从火车十几个车门上上下下的流动中蕴藏着不少提供座位的机遇；即使想到了，他们也没有那一份寻找的耐心。眼前一方小小立足之地很容易让大多数人满足，为了一两个座位背负着行囊挤来挤去有些人也觉得不值。他们还担心万一找不到座位，回头连个好好站着的地方也没有了。与生活中一些安于现状不思进取害怕失败的人，永远只能滞留在没有成功的起点上一样，这些不愿主动找座位的乘客大多只能在上车时最初的落脚之处一直站到下车。

提示：自信、执着、富有远见、勤于实践，会让你握有一张人生之旅永远的坐票。

LESSON 1

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff, and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff, and he Was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: " ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST"*

LESSON 2

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive.He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."

LESSON II - NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING.*