Why it's easy to be scathing and so hard to be nice
When I need to work up my nerve to write a tough column, I try to think of myself as Emma Peel in a black leather catsuit, giving a kung fu kick to any diabolical mastermind who merits it.
I did not write those words, and I hope you didn't think for one moment that I had. They were the introduction to a column written by Maureen Dowd of The New York Times last Monday in which she said how hard life was as the only female op-ed columnist on her paper. Before I get to the issue of female columnists, their scarcity, the harshness of their life and whether we should give a damn one way or another, I would like to get back to that intro.
I've never met Maureen D, but I bet she does not think about Peel, catsuits or kung fu. When I am about to write a tough column, I normally feel calm and relatively cheery. In my experience, tough columns are pleasingly untough to pen. Example: imagine a large bank gave all members of staff a booklet of 123 golden behaviours for them to follow every day. My response would be 1,000 scathing words that would more or less write themselves. Writing nice columns is harder. And writing subtle and nuanced ones is hardest
of all.
Back to the women columnists. There are hardly any serious ones in the US. This is because, says Dowd, women have difficulty being nasty. Women also are not comfortable pontificating. And if they do write something horrid, all hell breaks loose, as men don't like taking criticism from women, which in her view is to do with a castration complex. And by way of conclusion, she says there must be lots of brilliant women columnists who are hiding somewhere. “We just need to find and nurture them.” I am not sure who “we” is, but still.
On the first point about the paucity of serious female columnists: this is not so in the UK. There are millions of them. Not just ones that write fluffy waffly stuff, but serious ones too. Polly Toynbee, Melanie Phillips, Julie Burchill, Ann Leslie, Deborah Orr and Jackie Ashley are in my first division. There are coachloads more in divisions two and three. The most powerful woman in British business might be American (she is also my boss, Marjorie Scardino, so I have to be careful), but it is nice to know that this is one area in which we lead the US.
There is no problem with toughness, or with getting our views across either. Indeed some women columnists are so opinionated as to end up sounding slightly unhinged though being unhinged can be an advantage in this line of business.
On to the next point: “Guys don't appreciate being lectured by a woman,” says Dowd. “It taps into the myths of carping Harpies and hounding Furies and distaste for nagging by wives and mothers.”
In true life, guys don't appreciate being lectured by anyone. Period (as I would say if I were a tough American female columnist). Over the years, I have interviewed many leading businessmen, and many of the pieces were not all that flattering. Most didn't like the result, and some complained. However, if I reminded them of their wives or mothers, they never let on. I suspect that my being a woman was relevant, both because they were lulled into confidential mode, and because my sex makes me finely attuned to the vanity of a man.
Dowd complains that there is a set of adjectives used only to describe women's work. This is true. People often say to me: “So who will you be sticking your stilettos into this week?” What bothers me about this is not the stilettos (in fact, given my flat, unsexy choice of footwear, I'm charmed to be associated with something as alluring as a stiletto). It is the unspoken assumption that I am unpleasant in a knee-jerk way, turning out gratuitously beastly columns and interviews without thinking. If this is true I should be fired, or sent away for retraining.
In response to Dowd's column, Anne Applebaum (the only female op-ed writer on The Washington Post) writes that she doesn't want to think of herself as a woman writer, a statistic or a token. She is a columnist, plain and simple.
By contrast, I don't mind at all if people think of me as a woman. I am one, after all. I don't mind if I'm a token either. All the way through my life, being a woman has been massively to my advantage. It has helped me get jobs and be chosen for things, and I'm grateful for that.
Deborah Tannen in the LA Times questions the assumption that serious columns have to be tough. She thinks that adversarial journalism is men's journalism, and wouldn't it be nice if women did their own thing and wrote things that were more balanced. I agree this might be nice, but I disagree that we are aping men. If many of our columns are nasty it is because as I said before nasty columns are easier to write, and people seem to like them
(up to a point).
That is not to say that men and women write their columns in the same way. I daresay that last week's news that the second X chromosome in women is not switched off may one day be able to explain the differences in male and female columnists. For now I'd say that many women are better at making a connection with the reader. The best ones do this by writing about themselves and their thoughts as they are, not by striking poses for effect. Pretending that you imagine wearing leather catsuits when you do no such thing jars horribly and devalues what follows.
做个刻薄的女专栏作家不难
每回要鼓起勇气，动笔写很难写的专栏之前，我总是把自己想象成穿着黑色皮紧身衣的艾玛?皮尔（Emma Peel，电影《复仇者》女主角），想想自己是如何一身功夫，飞脚痛击那些欠揍的专栏策划者。
这话不是我写的，但愿您也压跟儿不会认为我会写出这种话来。这些话是上星期一《纽约时报》上莫林?多德（Maureen Dawd）写的，这是她在一篇专栏文章开头写的话。在这篇文章中，她抱怨自己作为报社唯一评论版专栏女作家，处境何等不易。我们先不说女性专栏作家本身的问题，比如她们稀少，她们处境艰难，也不说我们要不要去管这些杂七杂八，我们先回到多德文章开头那段话。
我从来没有见过莫林?多德，但是我敢打赌她并不是真在想皮尔、紧身衣或者功夫这些。我每次写一篇难写的专栏文章前，通常都感觉很平静，而且还比较开心。照我的经验，再难的专栏，下笔起来总是愉快的，顺畅的。举个例子，假如一家大银行发布了123条行为指标，要员工每天遵循。让我写一篇相关文章，总可下笔千言，竭尽挖苦之能事，不费吹灰之力。而写些友善的专栏就难多了。其中文字婉转，语意微妙者更是难上加难。
我们再回答女性专栏作家这个话题。美国没有几个严肃的女性专栏作家。这中间的原因，多德说，是因女性很难严厉起来。 女性也不擅长说教。如果她们写点让人不快的东西，顿时会天下大乱：男性可不喜欢听女人的批评，按多德的说法，这是一种阉割情结。她最后总结说，肯定有很多杰出女性可以当专栏作家，可惜都还没有露面：“我们应该找到她们，培育她们。”我不知道她说的“我们”是谁，但是算了，不说也罢。
我们先来看第一点，亦即严肃的女性专栏作家稀缺问题：英国不是这种情况。英国有几百万女性专栏作家。虚饰浮夸者有之，无病呻吟者有之，严肃作家也不乏其人。波莉?汤因比（Polly Toynbee）、梅拉妮?菲利普（ Melanie Philips）、朱莉?波西尔（ Julie Burcill）、安?莱斯利（ Ann Leslie）、黛博拉?奥尔（ Deborah Orr）、杰姬?阿什利（ Jackie Ashley）属虚饰浮夸一类。第二第三类不胜枚举。英国商业界最有权势的女性或许是一位美国人。（也就是我的老板马约里?斯卡尔迪诺（Majorie Scardino）， 所以我得小心点。）但是知道我们在女性专栏作家这方面超过美国人，还是很让人安慰的。
刻薄不难，把自己的观点表达出来也不难。事实上，有些女性专栏作家成见极深，文字读来似有精神错乱嫌疑，可话说回来，做我们这一行，精神错乱倒是个优势。
然后我们再来看第二点：“男人不喜欢让女人来教训，”多德说。“这会让人想到一些神话，比如贪婪尖刻的鸟身女妖，或是对仇家穷追不舍的复仇女神，也会让人想到妻子的聒噪和母亲的
