More caustic negativity in store for the new year
In the closing days of last year I received an e-mail from a reader that went like this: “If I understood more about you and what had happened in your life, I might be more sympathetic to your overwhelmingly caustic negativity.”
Whoa, as my children would say. In case there are other readers who have been quietly thinking the same thing, perhaps I should explain.
You could say it all started with my potty training. But in fact the damage was done a lot earlier than that. The single thing that happened in my life that explains my overwhelmingly caustic negativity is that I was born British. I was probably caustic and negative as I gave my first cry, and if I wasn't, the British education system made sure I became so quickly. The national mind is built on negativity, only we don't see it as negative: we see it as honest, often funny, generally a good thing. To be critical is to be rigorous; on the whole, I wear my negativity with pride. At least, I did until I got a message from another reader.
This man told me that he had been reading my column for some years and had built up a pretty comprehensive picture of what I don't believe in. Had I ever thought, he asked in the gentlest, politest sort of way, of writing a column about something I do believe in?
This message sent me to my cuttings book to check, and sure enough there was column after column after column of what I don't believe in.
I never would have believed that I didn't believe in quite so many things. I can explain this too, though I'm not at all proud of it. The reason is not only that negativity is my mental default position but that on the subject of management there is so very much not to believe in. When companies such as JP Morgan Chase send out 123 edicts for staff to follow every day including “Let your head guide you and your heart power you” it is easy to forget what belief even feels like.
So this week to celebrate the fresh start of a new year I am going to shed my cloak of negativity and write about things I believe in connected to management, to work or office life. Already I am feeling anxious, and short of ideas. What do I believe in? I asked one of my colleagues. “I don't know” he said in a not-very-nice tone of voice, and then suggested “Truth, justice and the American way?” The sad thing is I don't even believe in that. I suppose I believe in justice, but don't always believe in truth, and certainly don't believe in the American way.
I rang my husband and asked him what he thought I believed in. He thought for some time, but could not really come up with anything. Later in the day he had a brainwave, and e-mailed me with the suggestion that I believe in being on time. Bingo. Punctuality is one of my most
dearly held beliefs. If everyone were always on time, the world be a happier place.
Doing things quickly, he also suggested. This was another bullseye. I do indeed believe in doing things quickly: the sooner you get things finished, the sooner you can do something else.
With two big beliefs in the bag, I found my other beliefs came thick and fast.
I believe the status quo has a lot going for it. I believe that companies often do more damage by trying to change their organisations than if they left well alone. Of course, companies need to change a bit to adapt to new conditions, but they do not need to make a religion of change.
I believe in my-word-is-my-bond. People should do what they said they were going to do. I always try to do this, and I wish that everyone else did too.
I believe in being a B++. I believe that the happiest and best position to occupy in life is somewhere comfortably above average, but not too exceptional. This means that you can be quite successful, if you want to be, without being too neurotic about it. The top is too exposed, too vulnerable.
I believe in routine. In particular, the routine of the office day is something that I miss when I don't have it. Routine allows you to get things done while hardly noticing that you are doing it. It is very efficient.
I believe in power, or rather I believe that companies should be transparent about power. It is much better to be honest about where power lies than
to pretend that a company is a great big democratic happy family when it so clearly is not. A little bit of command and control has a lot to be said for it.
Above all, I believe in the wonder of work. People who do jobs that they like are very lucky. But even people who do jobs that they don't like much are quite lucky. The satisfaction of getting work done (even boring work) is one of the most reliable pleasures that there is.
I hope my reader is pleased with this list of beliefs. I have just shown it to someone in the office who was not impressed. He said these they weren't beliefs at all, and asked what my “real” beliefs were? I said these were my
real beliefs, but he still looked unhappy.
I'm not particularly happy with my list either, but not because I've been holding back my true beliefs. The trouble with my beliefs is that they are banal and the sort of thing you would expect from a conservative old duffer of 90, which is a slightly demoralising way to start the new year when you are only half that age.
My final belief is that we should all force ourselves to do things we find hard. It is only if we do this that we stop stagnating and get better at things. I have tried this week, but next week I think I'll revert to the status quo, to what comes naturally and find something that I most definitely do not believe in.
新年将有更多刻薄消极等着你
去年年末前的几天，我收到一位读者的电子邮件，里面写道：“要是我对你和你的人生了解更多，我可能会对你那种极其强烈的刻薄否定态度更有同感。”
哇，这像是我孩子会说的话。或许我该解释一下，以防其他读者也在默默地这么想。
你可能会说，这完全是源于我那些愚蠢的培训。但事实上，远在我接受培训之前，这种伤害就已经造成了。我这种极其强烈的刻薄否定态度，用我人生中发生的一件事就可以解释，即我生来就是英国人。在我发出第一声啼哭时，我或许就是个刻薄的否定论者，如果当时我还不是这样，那么英国的教育体系确保了我很快变成这样。英国国民思想就是建立在否定论的基础上，只是我们并不视之为否定态度：我们视之为诚实、经常显得滑稽，而且在一般情况下是好事。批判就要严厉；大体上，我是以否定态度为荣的。至少，在我收到另一位读者的来信前是如此。
此君告诉我，多年来，他一直在读我的专栏，并已对我不信奉的东西逐渐形成有了一个相当全面的印象。他以一种最文雅、最彬彬有礼的方式问道，我难道就没想过写篇专栏，描述自己确实信奉的东西？
这封信促使我去查阅自己的剪报簿，结果足以肯定，我写了一篇又一篇有关我不信奉什么的专栏。
若不去重新翻阅，我永远也不会相信，自己不相信的东西有那么多。我也可以对此做出解释，但我一点也不以此为荣。原因不仅在于，否定已成了我的心理默认状态，而且还因为在管理这个题目上，不值得信的东西是如此之多。有一些公司，例如摩根大通(JP Morgan Chase)发出了123条指令，要求员工每天都必须遵守，其中还包括“让头脑来指引你，让心灵给你力量”，这时就连信念是什么样也很容易忘记。
因此，为了庆祝新年的全新开始，本周我将抖落身上的否定斗篷，写一写我信奉的东西，这些东西要与管理、工作或办公室生活有关。我已经感到焦躁、没了主意。我信奉什么呢？我问了一位同事。“不知道，”他以一种不太友善的语气说道，接着建议说：“难道是真理、公正和美国方式？”令人难过的是，就连这些我也不信。我觉得自己信奉公正，但并不总是信奉真理，当然不信奉美国方式。
我打电话给丈夫，问他觉得我信奉什么。他想了一会儿，但却想不出任何东西。当天稍晚一点，他灵机一动，给我发了个电子邮件，说我信奉守时。嘿！守时是我最看重的一个信念。如果每个人都总能做到守时，那么这个世界就会变得更快乐。
他还说，我信奉做事要迅速。他又说中了。我确实信奉做事要迅速：你越早把一些事完成，就可以越早做其它事。
这两大信仰落实后，我发现自己的其它信仰一股脑涌了出来。
我相信维持现状很有好处。我相信，相对于维持原样来说，公司试图改变组织结构，往往会造成更大破坏。当然，公司需要略做变化来适应新情况，但它们没有必要把改革作为信仰。
我信奉言出必行。人们应该实践他们说过要做的事。我总是努力这么做，并希望其他所有人都这么做。
我信奉做个B++的人。我相信，生活中可占据的最幸福、最美好的位置是明显超过平均水平的位置，但不要太突出。这意味着，如果你愿意的话，你可以相当成功，同时又不必为之太神经兮兮。冒尖的位置太暴露，也太容易受攻击。
我信奉按部就班。特别说来，我现在已没有按部就班的办公室工作日，但这样的日子是我所怀念的。按部就班能让你在把事情做完的同时，又几乎没有注意到自己在做。这很有效率。
我信奉权力，或者说更信奉公司应该在权力方面透明。当公司很明显不是个伟大而民主的幸福大家庭时，还要假装它是那样，那远远不如诚实地说出，谁掌握公司的权力。公司中有一些命令和控制，还是有可取之处的。
最重要的是，我信奉工作的奇迹。如果人们从事着自己喜欢的工作，那他们非常幸运。但即使人们从事着自己不十分喜欢的工作，他们也相当幸运。把工作完成（甚至是单调乏味的工作）的满足感是最可靠的乐趣之一。
我希望读者能喜欢我这个信念列表。我只给办公室里某个人看过，但他对此不以为然。他说这些根本不是信念，并问我“真正的”信念是什么？我说这些就是我真正的信念，但他似乎还是不满意。
我对这个列表也不是特别满意，但并不是因为我隐瞒了自己的真实信念。我这些信念的问题在于，它们太平常了，是你可以期望从一个保守的90岁的老糊涂那里得到的回答。当你只有一半年纪时，以这种方式来开始新的一年，着实让人略有些丧气。
我最后一个信念是，我们都该强迫自己做些觉得困难的事。只有这么做，我们才会打破停滞不前的状态，做事才会有长进。本周我已经做了尝试，但我想下个礼拜我会故态复萌，回到自然状态，并找出一些我最最不相信的东西。
