It's humiliating, but better than golf by a long run
In general, I do not enjoy getting naked in front of my colleagues. I avoid the office urinals. I avoid the men's changing rooms. I avoid the gym. Office life is difficult enough without worrying that colleagues are assessing your pot belly or genitals as well.
This prudishness was one of the reasons why I was reluctant to accept an invitation from an office running club to join them for a lunchtime jog last Thursday. Another reason: I had not been for a jog in 12 years. The last time I tried was the compulsory annual cross-country run at school when, as usual, I crossed the line with one of the slowest times, alongside the school asthmatics.
Nevertheless, I eventually yielded to the suggestion from Robert Orr, the FT's financial services reporter, and eight others that I join them for a lunchtime run from Southwark Bridge, along the Thames to Vauxhall Bridge, and back: in total, a route of some six miles. There was a specific reason why I said yes: they claimed that running was "the new golf".
To support their thesis they pointed to a recent survey, commissioned by JP Morgan Chase, which found that many people now see running as a way of networking and climbing the corporate ladder. Forty per cent of lawyers questioned said they had been offered a new job while out on a jog.
I was intrigued. I was also reassured by Robert that the run would not be tough. I could turn back early if it proved too difficult and there was no need to be intimidated by the other runners: one of them apparently weighed a massive 17 stones when he joined the club.
Unfortunately, what Robert did not mention was that this 17-stone fatty was now a svelte 13-stone athlete who ran two marathons last year and has ambitions to "diversify into triathlon" this year. I knew that I had made a mistake as soon as I entered the men's changing room and saw that, between them, my fellow runners had less fat on them than I did on my right arm.
To make matters worse, it quickly became evident that I was badly prepared. I had forgotten to buy proper running shoes and had eaten too much. Robert had advised that I should have a banana and lots of water for breakfast. Being slightly hungover, what I actually consumed was: one croissant, three cups of tea, one bacon sandwich and two paracetamol.
It was no surprise therefore that I lost sight of the main running pack within a minute. Two colleagues stayed with me, but it was clear that they were doing so only out of pity. After eight minutes I must have looked terrible, because one of them turned around and asked what was hurting most: my legs or my chest? I replied that it was mostly my legs, feet, ankles, chest, back and head.
Eventually, I had to tell them I was stopping. I had only run for 11 minutes but looked and, to my mind, felt worse than Paula Radcliffe did when she dropped out of the Olympic marathon. As they padded away beyond Waterloo Bridge, I stopped running.
It was depressing to discover that I was woefully unfit. I walked back to the office disconsolately, via the back streets to minimise the risk of bumping into that girl on the third floor I have been trying but failing to impress for the past six months. Fortunately, I looked so bad that most colleagues I passed did not recognise me.
I broke into a sprint as I approached the building, suddenly anxious that the group would get back before me, even though they had run three times further. Mercifully they had not and I managed to have an ineffective wash under the office shower (I had forgotten to bring soap) and was as clothed as I could be by the time they had returned (I had also forgotten to bring a change of underwear).
I spent the rest of the afternoon sweating at my desk, hurting all over, feeling strangely titillated by the fact that I was wearing no underwear, and trying to work out whether running was the great thing that the lunchtime club said it was. To be honest, unlike my nine jogging colleagues, I had not found the experience "fun", "relaxing", "a good way of alleviating hangovers" (it just replaced one form of pain with another) or "a top way of networking" (I found it impossible to talk and run at the same time).
But I did accept that lunchtime running could have been all these things if I was fit. Indeed, I was mostly very impressed by what I saw. The diversity of the running group was admirable (both sexes, all departments), their camaraderie was infectious (lots of office gossip and banter about doping offences, football, beer and so on) and they were very welcoming.
As a networking activity running seems preferable to golf in every way: it is accessible (you do not need expensive kit and there are no membership fees), you do not have to wear silly clothes, it makes you fit, you can do it during the working day, and it takes place on the streets of a beautiful city, rather than on over-manicured lawns in the suburbs.
I used to be one of those people who thought that running should be something you did only if you were being chased by a predatory animal or someone carrying a weapon. But I have changed my mind. I might even start doing it at lunchtime.
Next time, however, I will remember to bring a change of underwear. For there is nothing more humiliating than sitting on the Underground on the way back from work, registering a look of terror on the face of the woman sitting opposite you, looking down and discovering that your zipper is undone.
慢跑胜过高尔夫
一般来说，我不太喜欢在同事面前暴露自己的身体。我尽量不要使用办公室厕所、更衣室和健身房。办公室生活本身已属不易，更不用说担心同事会对你大腹便便的肚子或生殖器评头论足。
正是出于这种拘谨，上周四，当办公室跑步俱乐部邀请我参加他们于午餐时间进行的慢跑时，我不甚情愿。另一个原因是：我已有12年没有慢跑了。我最后一次慢跑是在学校参加每年一度的越野跑(每个人必须参加)，与往常一样，我以最慢速度与学校患气喘的学生一起越过终点。
不过，我最终接受了《金融时报》金融服务记者罗伯特?奥尔(Robert Orr)和其他8人的提议：我的午餐慢跑从Southwark桥开始，经过泰晤士河，到Vauxhall桥后返回。全程约6英里。我之所以同意还有一个特别的原因：他们声称跑步是“新高尔夫运动。”
为了支持这一观点，他们提到近期由摩根大通(JP Morgan Chase)所做的一项调查，调查发现：目前许多人都将跑步当作联络关系和晋级升职的方法。40%受访的律师表示，他们都曾在慢跑过程中得到新的业务。
这使我好奇心大起。罗伯特还向我再三保证，说慢跑不会太困难。如果感觉太难，我可以提前返回，而且我不必被其他慢跑者所吓倒：其中一人加入俱乐部时体重明显有17英石。
遗憾的是，罗伯特没有提到：这位当时17英石的胖子现在是体重13英石的运动健将，他去年两次参加马拉松赛，并且计划今年“从事三项全能运动。”走进更衣室时，我发觉罗伯特的脂肪加在一起也比不过我右臂上的脂肪，我立即知道自己决定参加这次慢跑是错误的。
更糟的是，我很快便明白自己准备不足。我忘了买合适的跑步鞋，并且吃得太多。罗伯特曾告诫我早餐应该吃一根香蕉，并大量喝水。由于有些宿醉未醒，我吃的东西包括：一块羊角面包、三杯茶、一个咸肉三明治和两粒治头痛药。
因此，很自然的，我转眼间便看不见跑步大队了。两个同事陪着我跑，但很明显，他们这样做仅仅是出于怜悯。8分钟后，我肯定是看起来很糟糕，其中一人回过头问我哪里最难受：是腿还是胸？我回答说主要是腿、脚、脚踝、胸、背和头。
最后，我不得不对他们说我不跑了。我只跑了11分钟，但我感觉自己看起来比保拉?拉德克利夫(Paula Radcliffe)退出奥运会马拉松比赛时还糟糕。在同伴跑过滑铁卢桥时，我停了下来。
知道自己身体状况这样差，这不免令人沮丧。我闷闷不乐地走回办公室，我走的是后街，想尽量不与三楼的那个女孩照面，在过去6个月间，我一直在试着给她留下好印象，但始终未能成功。所幸的是，我看起来如此糟糕，以至于路过的大多数同事都没有认出我来。
靠近建筑物时，我一阵狂奔，虽然同伴们的慢跑距离是我的三倍之远，但我还是忽然担心他们会在我之前回来。谢天谢地，他们还没回来，我在办公室淋浴间草草洗了个澡（我忘了带肥皂），并且在他们回来前尽量穿着完毕（我还忘了带换洗内裤）。
整个下午，我汗淋淋地坐在办公桌前，浑身发痛，由于未穿内裤，我感觉奇怪又刺激，我试图弄明白，是否跑步真的像午餐俱乐部所说的那样棒。坦白说，与9个慢跑同事不同的是，我不觉得这一体验“有趣”、“放松”、“可有效缓解宿醉未醒”（跑步只是以一种形式的痛感取代另一种形式）、“可充分联络关系”（我觉得边跑步边谈话根本不可能）。
但是，我承认，如果我身体状况好的话，午餐时间跑步可能拥有上述所有益处。的确，我所见到的给我留下了很深印象。跑步队伍非常具有多样化（有来自所有部门的男男女女），人们之间亲密无间的关系很具感染力（到处都是办公室闲话，有关毒品犯罪、足球和啤酒等的调侃），大家都非常友好。
作为一种联络关系的活动，跑步似乎在一切方面都胜过高尔夫球：它具有大众性（人们无需昂贵的装备、也无需交纳会员费）、人们不必穿戴笨拙的衣物、它可以使你身体健康，可以在工作时候进行，地点可以是在城市的街道上，而不是郊区过分休整的草坪。
我过去曾认为：人们仅仅在被食肉动物或持枪匪徒追赶时才需跑步。但是我改变了看法。我甚至可能会在午餐时间开始我的跑步生涯。
然而，下一次我会记住带上换洗内裤。下班坐在地铁里，如果对面妇女朝下看时发现你的裤子拉链开了，一定会露出惊恐的表情，没有比这更令人丢脸的了。
