Meet John 'Your Ad Here' Smith
A little boy came into the world last Friday at 2:19 p.m., weighing 6 pounds, 11 ounces. His name: ChamberMaster Mead -- after a software company that won the naming rights in a charitable auction mounted by his father.
Chris Mead, a vice president of the American Chamber of Commerce Executives, hoped to use his son's birth to raise money for the organization's scholarship fund. The company, ChamberMaster, which sells Web-based software to chambers of commerce, bought naming rights for two weeks, paying $375.
A consulting firm, Horizon Industries, has offered to purchase naming rights to the infant for the two weeks after that. Young ChamberMaster would then be called Horizon Industries Mead. Eventually, when corporations lose interest in the boy, he'll go by the name John Douglass Mead, a source tells me. (OK, that source is his eye-rolling mother, Laura.)
It's all in fun and for a good cause, but it's also another indication that our culture has developed a naming fixation. As almost every stadium and concert hall gets a corporate moniker attached to it, regular people want in on the name game. And our impulse to attach our names to things -- or to have things' names attached to us -- is easily indulged these days. Immortality can be had on the cheap.
For $54 to $139, you can have a shining star in a distant constellation named after you. Admittedly, neither scientists nor the government will use your name, and no one in that constellation will be told. But you and your star will be on file with the International Star Registry (or one of its competitors) and you'll get a parchment certificate, a personalized sky chart and wallet cards with your "telescopic coordinates."
Well-known authors now sell naming rights to characters in their books. Last year, in a fund-raiser for the nonprofit First Amendment Project, 19 authors -- including Stephen King and John Grisham -- offered up naming opportunities. Readers paid between $2,250 and $25,100 to be immortalized in new novels.
Schools, desperate for funding, are allowing gymnasiums and playgrounds to be named after donors. New housing developments are selling street names. Zoos are auctioning off naming rights to newborn animals. And through scientific organizations, you can name new species of insects, monkeys and birds.
The rise in this naming phenomenon shouldn't surprise us. We live in a celebrity culture where being noticed is a sign of success. Mix that with the prevailing mind-set that there's a price for everything, and you end up with what marketers call a new wrinkle in "human directional advertising." People once earned cash by pacing on sidewalks with sandwich boards advertising local eateries. Now, they sell themselves.
Internet casino GoldenPalace.com says it has paid people a total of $100,000 to tattoo the company name on their foreheads, cleavage and pregnant bellies -- some temporarily, some permanently. The company has also paid to name several babies and given more than $15,000 to a woman in Tennessee to change her name to GoldenPalace.com, a spokesman says.
In a poll conducted a few years ago by parenting Web site Americanbaby.com, 49% of respondents said they'd consider accepting money from corporations in exchange for naming rights to their babies. But some people are embracing corporate names even if they're not being paid to do so. In 2000, the latest year for which data are available, 571 babies in the U.S. were named Armani, 55 were named Chevy, and 21 were named L'Oreal, according to research into Social Security Administration data by Cleveland Evans, a psychology professor at Bellevue University in Bellevue, Neb.
One of the quirkiest new ventures in the immortality sweepstakes is a company called "Save a Saying." For rates ranging from $19.95 to $54.95, you can attach your name or a loved one's name to a well-worn saying such as "Life is not a dress rehearsal" or "You win some, you lose some."
Your saying ends up in the "international registry" at SaveASaying.com, where the world can see your photo and an explanation of why this is "your" saying. You'll get a parchment certificate and laminated registration card (but no royalty rights or trademark).
If you overhear someone spouting your favorite clichéd expression in a bar, "you can whip out your card and tell them, 'You can't use that! I have registration No. 100,314,'" says Don Powell, the company's founder, who acknowledges his effort is a bit tongue-in-cheek.
Still, he thinks his service makes a great gift for loved ones. "It shows that you've listened to them all these years. What they said to you didn't go in one ear and out the other." Among sayings already posted by customers: "It's better to be safe than sorry" and "Give 110%!"
Dr. Powell, a clinical psychologist, heard that George Steinbrenner often says: "Winning is second only to breathing." Dr. Powell registered the expression for the Yankees owner and sent him a framed certificate. Mr. Steinbrenner's office confirms that the certificate is now displayed on his credenza.
道可道 非常道；名可名 非常名
上周五下午2点19分，一个体重6磅11盎司的小男孩来到了这个世上，取名为ChamberMaster Mead，因为软件公司ChamberMaster在其父亲、American Chamber of Commerce Executives的副主席克里斯?米德(Chris Mead)举行的慈善拍卖中赢得了冠名权。
克里斯?米德希望利用儿子出生这个机会，为其所在组织的奖学金基金筹集一些钱。向各级商会出售基于网络软件的ChamberMaster以375美元购买了小男孩两周的冠名权。
咨询公司Horizon Industries计划购买接下来两周的冠名权。襁褓中的ChamberMaster之后将改名为Horizon Industries Mead。据一位消息人士告诉我，将来如果参加拍卖的公司失去兴趣了，孩子将取名为约翰?道格拉斯?米德(John Douglass Mead)。（好了好了，不卖关子了，其实这位消息人士就是孩子他妈劳拉(Laura)。）
这很有趣，也是一项善事，但同时也说明我们的文化已经变得对名字有些偏执。几乎每个体育馆、音乐厅都会冠以一家公司的名字，普通人也想加入这场游戏。人们希望以自己的名字命名一些事物或者将一些事物的名称用在自己的名字当中，这种念头如今已一发不可收拾，并且可以很廉价地获得。
只要花上54美元到139美元不等，你就可以为遥远星系中某颗闪亮的星星。当然，科学家或政府是不会用你的名字的，那个星系里的人也不会知道。但你的名字和这颗星星将记录在国际星座登记处(International Star Registry)或某个类似组织的档案中，而且你会获得一张羊皮纸证书、一个专门制作的星空图以及可放入钱包的记录望远镜坐标位置的卡片。
知名作家也出售作品主人公的冠名权。去年在为非营利机构First Amendment Project筹款的一次活动中，19位作家，包括斯蒂芬?金(Stephen King)和约翰?格里斯汉姆(John Grisham)，就提供了冠名的机会。读者支付2,250美元至25,100美元不等，名垂于这些作家的小说中。
资金匮乏的学校也同意将体育馆和操场以捐赠者的名字命名。新的房地产开发项目在出售道路命名权。动物园在拍卖新出生动物的命名权。通过一些科学组织，你还能为新发现的昆虫、猴子和鸟类命名。
这股冠名热潮并不陌生。我们生活在一个名声在某种程度上代表著成功的文化中。加上普遍的任何东西都有价格的思维定势，就出现了营销人士所称的“人类指向性广告”的新涟漪。以前人们可以在身前身后绑上当地餐馆的广告板，在人行道走来走去赚钱。现在，他们可以出售自己。
博彩网站GoldenPalace.com称，公司总计支付了10万美元，把公司名以刺青的方式刻在人们的前额、乳沟以及孕妇的大肚皮上，有些是可以抹去的，有些则是永久性的。这家公司还付费取得了一些婴儿的冠名权，并向田纳西州一位女性付费超过1.5万美元，将她的名字改为GoldenPalace.com，发言人称。
父母网站Americanbaby.com几年前进行的一项调查显示，49%的受访者认为他们会考虑公司为他们的孩子有偿冠名。但有些人虽没收到钱，也在以一些公司名为孩子取名。内布拉斯加州Bellevue University的心理学教授埃文斯(Cleveland Evans)对有数据可查的最近一年－－2000年的美国社会安全管理局(Social Security Administration)数据进行研究后发现，美国有571个婴儿取名Armani，55个婴儿取名Chevy，21个婴儿取名L'Oreal。
最离奇的是还有这样一家公司Save a Saying。只要花上19.95美元至54.95美元不等，你就能以自己的名字或挚爱者的名字发布一条老生常谈的言论，“生活不是一场彩排”或“有得必有失”。
你的言论将载入SaveASaying.com的“国际登记处”。全世界都能看到你的照片，以及解释为何这是你的名言。你将获得一份羊皮纸证书以及薄薄一张注册卡（但没有版权或商标）。
如果你老是听到什么人在酒吧里说著你的名言，“你可以甩出自己的卡片，告诉他们，“你不能用这句话！我已经注册了，注册号是100,314，”SaveASaying.com的创立人?鲍威尔(Don Powell)表示。
虽然他承认这种做法并不能当真，他还是认为这种服务可成为送给爱人的一份很好的礼物。“这说明这么多年来你一直在用心聆听他们。他们说的话你并没有一只耳朵进，一只耳朵出。”
临床心理学家鲍威尔听到纽约Yankee棒球队的所有者乔治?施泰因不伦纳(George Steinbrenn)经常说“除了生命，没有什么比获胜更重要”。鲍威尔就为他注册了这条名言，并给他送去了一个带框的证书。施泰因不伦纳的办公室证实这个证书目前就放在他的餐具柜上。
