1.Love and Marriage1的前15分钟语音对应的文本
1. Love and Marriage
SIDE A
Hello, We're here gathered together
in holy matrimony,
no actually we're here to talk about that
sacred thing
that we call marriage
or living together.
Um, Let's all introduce ourselves.
O.K. Well I'm Daisy,
and I'm married
and I'm on the verge of divorce.
Hi, everybody,
my name is Bow,
and I'm married
and I think the institution of marriage
is just great.
Um, my name is Luke,
um
I'm still looking for
that special someone
to make all my dreams
come true.
Hey. I think,
I'm Viv,
and I think legal is regal
but I don't need it so
I have a perfectly
happy relationship with someone
and we don't plan to get married
any time soon and perhaps never.
That was cool,
those rhyme??
I wish I had
thought of that.
Anyways let's continue on.
I'm sure each person agrees that
everyone is made
a little bit differently,
uh... some people may be suitable for them
and some may not be.
And you may find the right companion for you,
during your life time.
And others find that
they may choose to go
another path
now I'd be curious to find out
how you feel about
the companion
in a marriage you know..,
or children..,
whatever.
Go ahead,
urn, Luke?
Well, I don't know,
maybe I'm a bit of an
optimist or something.
But I think
I haven't find her yet,
but I believe that,
there is a girl out there,
that is just 100%
compatible with me.
Like the 100%
perfect girl for me,
and I just got to go out there
and I got to see the world
until I find her.
And then
totally I'm just gonna spend the rest of my life
with her and there is no questions asked,
um it will be,
I'll know it
when it's the time
and it's gonna be great
and I'm not gonna have to worry
about anything..,
and I'm gonna set myself up
with a little piece of farm land
and I'm just gonna make babies
for the rest of my life.
The three kids in the three bedroom house
the whole deal.
Well, yeah to a degree.
I just wanna drop-out,
you know I wanna work hard now
then I wanna drop by the society,
I don't wanna be part of this rat
i race anymore
but I mean,
I've got to stay interested in it,
I've got to stay in the game
and the only way
you can do that, is
just by being in love
with someone who.
I'm 100%
on the level with
and totally together with.
And I have faith
that I'll find her,
hopefully soon.
But what makes you feel that?
Well I mean
not that you won't find her
but I'm saying
why do you feel
the drive
or the need to find
a companion in your life?
And what makes you think that,
that would be so nice?
( Where's the feeling?)
It's kind of empty without it,
isn't it?
I mean
your whole world is made up of
all these like individuals going around trying to
find something in common with..,
as many other people as possible.
And just trying to like make a connection,
but a whole bunch of really superficial connections like,...
I don't know..,
like what're your hobbies,
what's your job,
people join clubs to find people
and
so they can talk about similar things
and so they can sort of have a common
ground to start a relationship with.
So (Romantic.)
you don't think that,
you don't think that,
there would be any reason or way,
I mean
do you think that this will be your lifetime partner?
What about divorce?
You don't see that in the picture?
I mean,
do you think that,
by chance,
you might end up with the wrong partner?
And do you believe in perhaps remarriage
or finding a second companion you weren't compatible.
No, I don't believe that at all,
I think,
everything that's been leading up to, urn,
in my whole life in the relationships I've made
with members of the opposite sex romantically,
there's always been something missing,
there's something
that is not quite there,
it doesn't click on some level,
and you have this initial attraction maybe,
but then as you find out
more about each other,
eventually you become a little bit,
the passion fades
and stuff,
and you don't become that,
and you're not into them anymore.
But I think that
it is possible
to just click with somebody
so well,
and you just realize
you just go on and go on,
the attraction just gets
better and better
because as you discovering things
about them you realize
how much they have in common with you,
but it's a very rare thing,
I mean I don't think
everybody necessarily even finds it
in their life..,
but I think
that that is something we can strive for.
The dating process is just like auditions you're just learning
about people
and then someone gets the parts,
someone you cast in the leading role
in your life.
So you're determine to like search out that person
and until you find that
person you're satisfied with being alone or,
or like maybe dating or,...
I'm happy dating and stuff,
but I don't do it just for the sake of doing
and like I definitely have an ulterior motive that's,
I wanna find that person,
it's a, it's a ..
.there's a definitely I mean to,
I mean I'm trying to have
fun in the meantime,
but there's that emptiness there,
that's, that's just, you know,
by playing the field I just don't get that,
that support I need.
Ah
So you're a sensitive guy,
and you're looking for
that Mrs right.
No, well, if you wanna put it
in Dear Abbey terms,
yeah I guess so
Ok. Well, let's move on to Bow then.
Bow, you're in a very stable marriage
with three kids.
I mean,
you're happy
where you are?
I'm extremely happy.
It's probably the best decision I've
ever made in my life,
and I totally see where...
Luke is coming from,
I mean
being my brother
and all we are pretty much,
you know,
sensitive guys, so ...
um ...
yeah.
I went through the same thing as him
and ...
it's tough in the beginning,
I mean
it's hard to find that
Mrs. Right,
but if you just keep looking
and your
compassionate about it,
you do find her and you do,..,
and the institution of marriage
is just the
ultimate thing for a man.
It's just great,
it's the fusion of
not just your bodies
but also your souls,
you're soul mates.
And what made Mary Lou
so right for you, Bow?
It must have been,
like, she just had twinkle in her eye.
I could see
deep into her soul,
like I just knew that her soul
and my soul were like two souls that,
we're made for each other.
One soul.
You lucky dog.
See that's what I want see that's
what I want
to look at that I'm just like,
that's it, man.
You can get there.
You will someday, man.
Right, well, see,
you know,
I'm kind of in the
opposite situation
from you guys,
because,
uh...
well, what can I say,
I was looking,
I thought
for exactly the same things,
and I thought I'd found
Mr. Right,
and we've been married now
for five years.
And we've...
I really,
I have to admit I've tried.
I really have tried,
I put in the time.
Did you love him when you first married him?
And up to what point did you think
that you loved him.
I mean do you still love him?
When did it fade,
when did it change?
And why?
Oh, well, I don't know,
I cannot put this into words.
Let me see, well, f
or me, yes,
I did love him.
I was both in love
and in lust with him,
when I met him.
And did he love you too,
I mean, was it a mutual thing,
you really had that love,
I mean...
Luke There,
That's the only way it works.
I think so,
I think,
I really think that
he did feel that way,
you know,
the thing is it that,
it's really easy
to be idealistic,
and when you're in the white dress in your,
you have this wonderful guy
who's proposing to you. And,
and your,
there's the whole Cinderella,
you know fairy tale ideal
that's behind a wedding.
And um,
here I was walking down the aisle thinking that
everything was gonna be wonderful,
we were gonna have the three kids
the house and the dog,
and the B.M.W.
in the drive way.
And um,
all of a sudden we had the house,
and
ok we didn't have children but..,
there was something missing.
And we...
I think we started this on just an ideal
and
we weren't prepared for the realities of marriage.
It's much more than those ideals.
Well,
it's nothing,
but it's nothing
that's insurmountable,
it's not anything that
you can't overcome with communication,
and genuine concern for
the other person's well-being.
Yeah, but the thing is where I'm at now,
Luke is,
I really,
I don't know,
if I can go on anymore,
I mean,
I think we've passed the point,
maybe we should have been doing that
communicating
way back before,
and now I'm in this situation where
, I don't really wanna be with him,
do I love him?
I love him in the sense that
I care about him,
because I've been
with him for a long time,
I don't want anything bad happen to him.
I wanna be able to help him as
a friend if possible,
but I'm certainly not in lust with him,
and here's the thing
I'm at this point in my marriage
where I wanna be with other people.
I, basically I wanna go out,
and I want to be with other people.
Oh, that's a shame.
What about,
if you're in the circumstance,
I mean,
what if your situation involved children?
I mean,
would you still think of
ending the relationship,
I mean..,
what about children?
Yes,
that's, well, all I can say is that I'm thankful that I don't.
But you know,
I think that would make it
much more difficult,
but in today's day and age maybe
we could have a relationship where
I have the kids one week and they
have the kids the other week.
So, is that what you gonna do
with your poodle?
Well, Yes,
I mean that's another thing.
I don't know
what I'm gonna do with the dog either. But...
The dog is just a superficial thing..,
that's just some sort of thing that
you were using
as some kind of glue to keep yourselves together
. I think you should give it another chance,
I mean,
you've got this person,
you've obviously made it this far,
well, what you need to do is bring it to the next level.
You need to have a child,
you need to make,
need to make an another commitment,
I mean, life is just a series of commitments,
(But, the what about...)
You got to go deeper and deeper
and keep challenging yourself and then ...
it's too easy,
people just throw things out when they don't work out
(: No.)
and it's too easy.
You've got to start seeing things through.
I think, well, that's,
that's your prerogative,
but I think that people
have to continue
to challenge themselves
and to continue
to commit themselves
to things and then they realize
only down the road,
I've made these commitments,
"Oh my, God,
I've had a very rich
and fulfilling
and beautiful life.
And a child would be the thing
that you need right now,
to get yourselves back on the same track,
to get yourselves together and
to get back on that horse and,
go out there and have a beautiful loving relationship again.
I totally agree.
Well, I totally don't,
I don't think Daisy has to go back to,
I mean,
to find another commitment to
hold her in there,
to string her into this relationship.
I mean,
she wants to find freedom,
she wants to go find another soul mate,
let her be.
Why should she be tied down?
Well, It wasn't necessarily a soul mate.
It was just
kind of
um...
mates.
Was it a one night stand?
Yeah.
And turned into a marriage?
Daisy:
No, no, no, no,
I was talking about when I get a divorce.
I wasn't looking for other
soul mates,
just mates.
I bet you're looking for just like
sexual partners.
Well, at the moment, yes.
Well, you can't do it like that,
I mean this is what I've been doing,
this is the dilemma I have.
I'm empty,
I'm like a,
I'm just like an empty vessel
floating through the sea,
because I don't have that
anchor to hold me to anything.
Well, you know,
we are just basically
extremes on one scale,
aren't we, Luke?
Well, I guess so,
but I just would say from my position,
I mean the grass can look always greener from
where you're sitting,
but I mean, it isn't always necessarily so,
and I think that you think you'll gain al
l this freedom and stuff,
but you're losing a whole lot of
really important things.
Well, Toucher,
You might come over to my green grass,
and not find it so green.
Well, Yeah
. but I haven't experienced
what you've experienced, yet.
I never had that,
that happy unity with
one other person.
And stuck it out for five years.
I've never been able to do that.
But I have,
and I agree with Luke.
I think that instead of looking for
other sexual escapade,
you should be
looking for
the new partner in your life,
your soul mate.
I mean it's..,
there's nothing like
having this like mutual respect for
one each other,
it's like a,
let me give you an example like I work,
you know a little bit..,
like after seven o'clock sometimes,
and you know,
I might wanna go
out and have a couple of beers with,
my, my colleagues so,
you know,
I'll be back by ten,
and I call my, my wife
and I say
"Darling,
I'm gonna be a little
late maybe about
10: 30" and she's
like "Darling,
no problem".
That's beautiful.
I mean that's,
that's mutual respect.
Yes, that's beautiful,
and I mean,
that's, what it's all about,
it's not like you've got an albatross around your neck anything.
It's liberating,
I think, I think once you find it,
you realize that you have a whole different
realm of freedom
that you weren't even aware existed.
(Totally)
Freedom to be yourself,
freedom to like fully give of yourself to another person.
That's true freedom,
that's true freedom.
Well sure,
it's freedom for you guys
who work and get to go out,
and lead good lives,
while your wife is at home cooking and,
cleaning,
and she has no,
you know,
personal satisfaction.
I'll stay at home.
I'd love to stay at home.
Um, Well me, personally,
I mean,
I have my own chores every day,
we share the responsibilities of the house.
I do laundry,
I wash dishes,
and I'm,
you know I'll come home
beat dead from work,
at like nine or something,
I mean, really late,
I'd go to bed by like ten.
But, I mean,
my wife is watching the baby all day,
and she might have like corns
and calices on her feet,
they might stink but,
I'll still massage them,
until my finger's almost bleed.
And, I mean,
that's what
marriage is about.
Well I don't know
many guys like you, two.
And I certainly don't.
And I don't think there are
a lot of men
that are willing to do that.
Willing to sacrifice,
yeah.
They're everywhere,
men just are,
just looking for the excuse,
they have all this,
macho posturing and stuff that
they just wanna go out and,
and meet a lot a chicks,
bust that's all a ruse.
It's just because they're insecure ...
And you don't wanna have sex
with other women?
Oh, but he does.
He's saying he is experimenting until he finds
that right one.
But the sex isn't just an incidental.
I'm not doing it,
I'm not doing it in pursuit of sex,
I'm not,
I'm looking for someone who,
who I'm compatible with sexually but also emotionally,
and like
(psycho...)
intellectually.
Well, then why is it wrong for me
to go out and have,
um and play the field and have sex with
other people and
find my soul mate?
I'm not saying it's wrong,
I'm just saying,
I'm just saying that you made this decision and
there's a certain sanctity to marriage,
but I think that, that it's sacred,
and you have to uphold it no matter what,
no matter what life throws
at you,
you've made this decision,
and you didn't do it,
just because it was a fluke,
I don't believe any marriages
happen by accident.
I think that
if you're gonna go that far,
it's magic,
and you know its magic,
and you know it's gonna work out, yeah.
Well, see,
but she doesn't feel it,
she doesn't know that it's magic.
She doesn't feel it at all.
But, at that time,
she did. She's just lost something
that used to just be there,
and she just has to rekindle that again.
It's still there,
( But it's gone.)
it's doesn't just go away
you don't. People just don't like have something
and it disappears.
( What if she's mistaken?)
I mean, well, that she must have mistaken,
well, then ...
(Vivian: In the last it all?) I don't think she did. I don't think she did. I don't think that people make mistake like that. When it comes to matters of the heart, I think you know, you know right off the bat. Matters of the heart, you can be wrong about math equations, and you can be wrong about, like your positions on things or like on historical facts. But on matters of the heart you're always right. You can't, I mean intuition is everything.
