2.Love and Marriage2的14.48-29分钟A面结束语音对应的文本
Vivian:
Well, see,
but she doesn't feel it,
she doesn't know
that it's magic.
She doesn't feel it at all.
.Luke:
But, at that time,
she did.
She's just lost something
that used to just be there,
and she just has to
rekindle that again.
It's still there,
( But it's gone.)
it's doesn't just go away you don't.
People just don't like
have something and it disappears.
(What if she's mistaken?)
I mean,
well, that she must have mistaken,
well, then ...
(In the last it all?)
I don't think she did.
I don't think she did.
I don't think that people
make mistake like that.
When it comes to matters of the heart,
I think you know,
you know right off the bat.
Matters of the heart,
you can be wrong about
math equations,
and you can be wrong about, like
your positions on things
or like on historical facts.
But on matters of the heart you're always right.
You can't,
I mean intuition is everything.
Michael Jackson and
Lisa Mary Presley,
(Michael, Yeah, Lisa Mary)
or Dennis Rodman and
or Carmen Electra.
I don't know t
hese people,
but I think
if they were gonna make the big plunge,
they were gonna go out
and get married,
and make these huge commitment
to each other
as this united whole.
Two candles becoming one,
you know.
I think that
something was there
that is still there,
it's just that the thing
that made it work
has gone,
it's dormant now.
And it's a matter of trying to
find it again and bring
it back up,
(O.K.)
and I think anything is, l
ike, just..,
can be overcome.
Any kind of
conflicts you had,
if you're in the bond of marriage,
and you had the idea
in the first place,
(Daisy: Oh that’s
a little naive, Luke.)
it's real, it's real, no, it's real.
How, how about not trying
to rekindle that fire,
but, just say,
"Hey, the flame is gone,
and it's died out,
and you're never gonna find it again,
so why not go and try to,
come to
a mutual understanding,
and say
"Hey, let's go and find
another companion,
or just find happiness
in our lives"
Well, I think that's a very defeatist attitude,
( Why is it defeatist?)
I think,
I think it creates a very dangerous pattern
for the rest of your life.
If something,
if something just doesn't work out,
like you kind
of get a thrill off it
and then it's starts going on,
and all of sudden,
it doesn't have the same,
the same kick it used to have
and it doesn't,
there's a diminished return
you're getting from it,
you don't just give up
from it and walk away,
I mean,
what are you gonna walk away
from your whole life,
you gotta, you gotta,
sometimes you've got to put yourself on the line,
and this is one of those things
where you have to do that.
O.K. alright,
O.K. Luke,
well, Here's Sally and Ben,
and, Sally and Ben,
they grew up in high school together,
and they had
a wonderful relationship
and they did that
whole fairy tale wedding and
they thought they were very happy,
and
well, somewhere along the line,
Ben, kind of got a little bit violent,
and he would beat Sally
and beat the children and
Sally tried to get him help but,
he wouldn't get him help,
and then Sally said,
"well, you know,
but this is the dream of our marriage?
Should I stay here?
And what about children?
And there comes a point,
don't you think
when a woman in
a situation like that, should leave?
Well, you left a part out there,
because, you just said,
all of a sudden,
he just started beating them up?
What changed?
Like what did she do,
what is,
how did she change
that made him start beating them up,
like, I mean obviously
(Exactly)
there was,
something there
and it shifted and
the situation was made different,
that caused the man
to start to becoming violent.
(That is)
I mean, he didn't have that in high school,
I mean, I hope
if he was doing that in high school,
she didn't like it. I assume she doesn't.
Well, some people,
some people have violent tendencies
and they don't manifest them
until later life,
and perhaps he's just manifested them,
maybe it was Ben's fault,
and not Sally's fault.
Well, maybe,
but, I mean,
obviously not,
he just didn't wake up and did
(You're attacking women,
that's what you're doing)
no I'm not, no I'm not,
(You are),
I'm not at all,
I'm just saying that
obviously something changed
in the situation
and, maybe it was within Ben,
like maybe it was frustration
with his job or something like that.
( Exactly, maybe it was with him)
I'm not saying that,
and I guess in that situation,
yeah, I mean,
it makes it a lot harder,
but I still think it's overcomeable,
I think that if he could just,
if he just could take
the fighting element out..,
that in him hitting them,
then it would be
a good marriage again, right.
Well, she could learn to fight
back a little bit, you know.
Sure.
Defend herself a little bit.
Well, that might escalate things.
Maybe that's not good. I,
I don't think violence in a marriage
is really gonna...
But then maybe he could
see her as his equal again,
and then get on with things.
Possibly, possibly.
Well, What about, O.K.
Mr. Love,
please tell me then,
what I'm gonna do.
Here I am living with this guy,
and I well obviously have,
well I'm married to him,
and I, obviously have some problems
with him, but
my thing is,
is that the I've met
another man at work,
and I'm very attracted to him?
And I'd like to have sexual relations with him.
Now how do
I stop myself from doing that?
Well, see, you've already created the pattern
for yourself though,
cause if you had the same feelings
for this guy that
you did for your husband,
is it gonna, is gonna lead to,
is gonna go down the same way?
I don't want to get married again.
Well... well.., why?
Why, the marriage is...
You have to. I mean,
If it's the right thing,
if you feel that kind of attraction to him,
you have to,
you have to like consummate it.
You can't have,
oh consummate it with sex?
You can't have a sexual
relationship with someone
without being married?
You're doing that, man?
Of course, I am,
but, I'm just doing it to
discover about people,
I'm trying to get at their inner souls.
And you can only do that
because you're a man,
we can't. Cause we're female?
I'm not saying that?
It's not as good,
I mean
having sexual relations with,
just a,
you know,
a person that
you meet in a bar or something,
it means nothing.
It's 2- dimensional,
it doesn't it matter
how sexy they are?
O.K. Daisy?
Just you know,
tell him..,
let's meet at the bar
and meet him all you want,
and do whatever you want with him.
I mean, the thing...
Well, yeah, you know
there's a certain animal,
kind of instinct,
in humans, and
maybe sometimes sex
for the sake of sex is OK too,
why does sex always
have to be a flop?
Why can't I fulfill my,
my pure
( Animal magnetism)
physical desires?
Because,
you are married.
Okay.
Well, if I get a divorce,
and I'm not gonna be
married any more.
Yeah, O.K. well,
then go ahead and get a divorce,
but well,
I mean it's your life,
I mean,
you screwed up your life.
Totally, I mean...you're gonna...
Why is it that screwing up her life?
Why does divorce
have to ruin your life?
Because she's turning her back
on the greatest thing
that's ever happened to her.
That's why.
The institution of marriage.
Exactly.
Have you met my husband? No.
No, I have not.
Yes, so, I don't think you're qualified
to speak about it,
Mr. Love.
Well, obviously,
he must have something
going from,
because you married him
and you've lived
with him for five years.
Yes, but that has gone
. I'm not in love with
this person anymore;
I want to have sex with other people.
It was a mistake,
she said.
Or maybe, you know,
you just weren't trying hard enough,
you have to
spice up your marriage like,
you have to bring some toys
into the bedroom,
spice it up, you know...
whips and...
No, spice it up
by bearing another child
so that you're
completely and forever eternally committed
to that relationship?
That's my brother
Luke's idea,
you know,
he, he's not married yet,
he doesn't know,
but I am.
I have experience,
and yes of course you know,
we have our troubles
every once in a while, but...
He's just wants free sex like you, O.K.
That's not true.
That's not true.
Don't get so defensive!
I wanna...
I'm looking for
a committed relationship,
and I tell this to girls up front
before I sleep with them,
and that I'm looking for
something serious,
but, sometimes,
it just doesn't click.
I wanna hear about the toys.
I say, that's a line.
I mean, the
masks and specials
I have order
catalogs from Japan,
which are really great, it...
I mean,
I spent a lot of money
on batteries a month?
But it's totally worth it.
I mean,
when you have an altercation,
and all it takes is a
double dong-dildo to rectify it,
it's a...
I mean,
it's no problem,
I don't see anything
wrong with that,
and you know,
it's the thing with
the people today
they're so easy like a,
my brother was saying,
to just,
you know,
to throw away
a marriage.
But urn,
for this,
you're talking about going out
and having sex,
because you love sex...
Well, would you to be willing to
if your wife said to you
"O.K. I love you,
but I wanna be
with another person,
to be involved with us."
All I want to be is sexually satisfied by,
not a dildo,
but by the real thing.
If that's what it would
take to keep
the fire in our marriage alive,
then yes I would.
You would
let another man,
if your wife said you
"No, I want
another man
to satisfy me,
I want to
open our marriage,
and take in new sexual partners"
you would do that
for your wife?
Yes, I would.
Even though,
that's like kind
of breaking your marriage,
vows. That's...
I mean,
that's just as good as going out
and have an affair.
Well, that depends on
what kind of religion you have,
or what kind of standards, and...
But, you guys are talking about
the sanctity of marriage
and the vows and not breaking them..,
and how you should be
forever committed to each other.
Exactly, which means that..,
we'll do anything it takes to keep that alive.
But, thus,
do you really,
can you sit here
and honestly look me
in the eye, Bow,
and tell me.
Look at her in the eye!
And tell me,
( Don't roll your eyes!)
you could watch another man
having relations
with Mary lou?
I mean,
if, if, what it took was for,
if she,
if she asked.
Don't break down on this.
If she asked me,
you know,
to have some sort of deviant
relationship in bed, that's,..
.that's what I had to do,
that's what I have to do!
But I just asked you,
what about
the sacred vows of your marriage
that you supposedly
uphold so highly.
But I mean
, if it's something
that your partner wants,
I don't think you have to be limited
by the traditional ideas of marriage,
of course,
we're living in changing times.
And people have different needs and
different things that turn them on and stuff,
and I mean there's room within a marriage
to change some of those standard perceptions,
I mean
I think, um,
I think it's important that people,
that people find
and make their own definitions of marriage.
I think it's important that they,
that they, just,
that they seek out
what's best for them,
and within a marriage
no one can touch that,
that's just you and your partner,
make it work however it has to,
however it has to happen.
So, why can't the same apply
for Daisy, or
I mean what if her,
her husband came to
a mutual agreement that
their marriage isn't going to
go anywhere, from here.
I mean,
that they mutually agree that
this is the point where,
you know that
they're going to.
That's exactly what we're saying.
We want her to try something
before she gives up on her marriage.
Not,
not give up.
I'm not saying try.
I'm saying they both agree that
they're gonna both
go their own ways,
and that they have tried.
I'm just saying that's a dangerous
pattern to get into.
I think once you've made that...
Who says it's a pattern?
Doing it once ..
.doing it once isn't,
it's not like you're gonna divorce
a hundred times in your life.
But you might get married.
If you get married a hundred times
what's to stop you from divorcing?
No, well, No, I don't
want to get married again.
You know,
everybody doesn't have to speak for me.
I don't wanna get married again.
And the thing is
I think it's probably
innately human
for us to want to have more than
one partner,
and if I
married a man
that can not fulfill my needs,
and then why
should take the responsibility
and onus all by myself,
to fix that.
But, people. Its works better,
if you would just stay with one person,
that works better.
Why do you have to be
with one person,
I never wanna get married I'm
perfectly satisfied living my own life,
and you know,
you can perfectly,
have a partner,
and not get married,
you can live
the rest of your life
with one partner,
why must you get married?
Is it some inevitable thing
that you have to
cross?
Sure,
and even if she doesn't
want to get married,
I mean,
if she chooses to
have a single life.
And be faithful to him.
Or not even have a partner,
or not even have a partner,
in today's society,
there are several options
if she wanted to be a mother,
a single mother is
nothing new in today's society.
There's surrogate mothers,
well, I mean, you know,
there's so many opportunities
out there for women,
why do I have to choose this archaic,
patriarchal, system,
um that men created, marriage.
Well, no I mean,
I'm sorry it's come to it that
you see it that way
but I think that you are missing out
on one of the great treasures of life and that's...
And How do you know,
you're not even married,
you just have this idealistic marriage
um idea in your head..
O.K. How about this?
I'll appeal to on a more of
a legalistic and
pragmatic angle,
I mean,
without marriage.
You don't get all these
tax-breaks and stuff
and you don't get the same benefits that,
that you'd get if you're married.
If you're single,
you're just living together
that's not gonna,
that's not gonna,
that's not gonna hold up in a court-of-law.
There are so many benefits you get.
Just from a pragmatic point of view.
I'll play your game.
I'll adopt a kid,
ha.
But you won't get respect from society,
society doesn't,
does not respect
single mothers
or single women.
I'll donate,
I'll donate.
Why not?
Because society is ruled
by a government of white,
conservative men,
and there
in lies the problem.
O.K. What about this?
Alright Bow,
I honestly,
don't believe you are
satisfied with your marriage,
you're not lustful of your wife,
and she isn't of you.
You guys
are in it on your marriage,
it's a functional marriage.
You guys
feel like you
have to be
with each other,
you have to raise this picture
( Three kids)
perfect family,
exactly,
and you are tied down
by your kids and your
dog and your BMW
and your two door garage.
Have you never seen them together
the way they're fawn over each other,
and dote on each other?
In front of others, sure.
You, just,
you're saying that from lack of experience,
you just haven't been there,
once you cross over
to the other side then maybe
we can have this conversation.
I don't wanna be on the other side.
I'm perfectly happy
living the life that I am.
Sure, promiscuous and
just another man
every other night and,
you know, you don't know
if you have a disease or,
you know...
Ignorance is bliss.
Exactly.
I get my pap smear every six months.
Doesn't matter,
the thing is, it's not..,
you're just thinking about
sex in the,
because of the,
the function of sex.
It just pure lust and
that's not what it's all about,
it's about like,
yes, of course.
Well, you're not thinking about
the lust
when you use those toys with your wife?
No, maybe,
she is, but to me,
( Maybe she is),
it's really,
it's like um the ultimate of a...
coming together,
that fusion of marriage
and love is,
is intercourse,
with each other
and it's not just the function of it.
It's,
it's more like a union
of our souls
coming together,
and it's not like,
you know,
of course,
I think of other women as attractive,
wow,
she is really beautiful,
and but..,
it's more of an attraction to my wife,
well, I mean,
even when I see her naked with her
stretch marks and her rolls,
that's doesn't matter to me.
It's just like,
I don't even see that.
