Keeping It in the Family: Protecting Your Money From Your Daughter-in-Law
It's many parents' secret fear: Their kid marries some no-good, know-nothing, reckless financial parasite. Suddenly, the new spouse is merrily spending all the money they gave their child or walking away with half of it when the couple divorces.
Harboring a few doubts about your new son-in-law or your future daughter-in-law? Here's how to help your children financially -- while controlling where your dollars go.
? Buying direct. Suppose your daughter is struggling with some hefty expenses, but you don't want your son-in-law getting his hands on your cash.
"If you're concerned about what will happen with the money, don't give money," advises David Handler, an estate-planning attorney with Kirkland & Ellis in Chicago. "Instead, pay for the vacation, pay for the summer camp, pay for the private school, take your daughter shopping for the afternoon."
Don't, however, constantly crack open your wallet, or you risk fostering an unhealthy dependency. Instead, focus on paying for occasional big expenses, like the grandchildren's education or an onerous hospital bill.
In fact, paying directly for schooling and medical expenses can be especially attractive. In any given year, you usually can't give more than $11,000 to another person without worrying about the gift tax. But there's no annual limit when it comes to helping with tuition and medical expenses -- provided you pay the school or medical provider directly.
? Keeping control. Like the idea of paying education costs? Consider funding a 529 college-savings plan for your grandchildren.
That way, you help your son or daughter with a major expense, but you keep control over how the money is invested and when it's disbursed. And the benefits don't end there.
You can invest as much as $55,000 in a 529 in one shot and count it as your $11,000-a-year gift for the next five years. It also appears the federal government will view 529s favorably when doling out financial aid, especially if the account is set up by the parents or, better still, the grandparents. Best of all, withdrawals for college costs are currently tax-free, though this tax-free treatment will disappear in 2011 unless Congress acts.
? Making matches. Let's say you want to help with college costs, but you figure your son and his new wife should also contribute. To that end, you might offer to stash $1 in a 529 for every $1 they contribute.
"If you structure it as a match, you encourage good savings habits, without being too controlling," says Sheryl Garrett, founder of the Garrett Planning Network in Shawnee Mission, Kan. "It can be a healthy way to gift money, and it makes the children invested in the goal."
? Divorce protection. Maybe you don't have a particular goal in mind. Maybe you just want to pass money to your children without enriching their spouses.
If estate taxes aren't an issue, the safest bet is to bequeath the money upon your death, so the assets don't get squandered by your children in the meantime or caught up in a divorce. This year, the estate-tax exclusion is $1.5 million, and next year it rises to $2 million.
Alternatively, you could give your kids money now, but counsel them to keep the cash in a brokerage account or mutual fund held solely in their own names. When property is divvied up in a divorce, certain sums are typically excluded, such as assets owned before the marriage and any inheritances and gifts received during the marriage.
"As long as you keep the money separate from marital property, it maintains its identity as a nonmarital asset," explains Sally Ann Martin, a domestic-relations attorney in Chicago. "The minute you start mixing it with marital assets or using it to pay marital bills, you run the risk that it loses its identity and it's considered a marital asset."
One mistake: Your kids wisely set up a separate account to hold gifts and inheritances, but then they toss in money that's considered a marital asset, such as a few bucks out of the regular paycheck they collect during their marriage. "That'll create an accounting nightmare at the time of the divorce," Ms. Martin warns.
? Trusts and prenups. Even if your children are diligent about keeping gifts in a separate account, divorce could still come with a nasty financial sting. The reason: In some states, they may be forced to split the income that these accounts earned during the marriage, and possibly also the capital gains.
To sidestep this risk, you could direct all your financial gifts into a trust, with your children named as beneficiaries. Problem is, trusts typically aren't cheap to set up or administer.
Want to avoid those costs? You could encourage your children to sign prenuptial agreements with their future spouses, says Pittsburgh attorney and accountant James Lange. The agreement would specify that each spouse gets to keep all investment growth on inheritances, gifts and premarital assets.
Of course, prenups aren't popular with prospective spouses who are about to get carved out. But it can actually work to their benefit, because the prenup will encourage their in-laws to be more generous.
"When I talk to the son-in-law, I tell him not to be a jerk about it," Mr. Lange says. "You'll get an indirect financial benefit, because your spouse will have more money. It's not likely that she'll eat steak, but give you hamburger." 儿女大婚后 媳妇女婿钱
很多父母都有一个难以明言的心头大患：子女的结婚对象可能是个不明事理、挥金如土、一无是处的寄生虫。难保哪一天，小夫妻就会把父母留给他们的财产挥霍殆尽；要么就是离婚，儿媳或者女婿会带著一半家产翩然而去。
爱女新婚燕尔，儿媳即将过门，怎样才能打消这些隐忧？现在我们就来谈谈怎样在财务方面帮助子女──同时掌控著这笔钱的去处。
一、直接付账
假设女儿正为一笔大额开销发愁，但你又不想让女婿经手你的钱，那怎么办？
“要是担心给了钱以后的事儿，那就乾脆别给，”芝加哥 Kirkland & Ellis 的地产规划律师大卫?汉德勒 (David Handler) 直言不讳地说。“办法可以是：你自己直接替他们支付渡假、参加夏令营、上私立学校的费用，或者某个下午亲自带著女儿去购物。”
但是，千万千万，不要总是痛痛快快打开钱包，有求必应。那你就是在鼓励他们养成不健康的依赖心理了。相反，你应选择偶尔替他们支付一笔大额费用，例如孙子孙女的学费，或者一次性的医疗费用。
实际上，直接支付学费和医疗费相当有利。无论哪一年，你都不太可能向任何人无偿给付逾 11,000 美元，还不用担心缴纳赠与税。但要是资助学费和医疗费──如果是你直接支付的话，每年出多少都没关系。
二、控制
付学费这个办法看来不错？考虑一下，替 4 个孙辈都准备一份 529 大学学费储蓄计划。
这样，你就替子女支付了一大笔费用，同时也控制了这笔钱的用处和取用时间。好处还不止这些。
你可以向一份 529 计划一次性拨入至多 55,000 美元，算作未来 5 年每年 11,000 美元的赠与。另外，联邦政府在发放助学金的时候，尤其当这个账户是由父母或祖父母建立的时候，都会优待处理。最大的好处是，支取大学学费现在是免税的。不过，如果国会不采取行动，那么这项好处 2011 年也就到期了。
三、平衡
假设一下，你愿意给钱让孙子孙女上大学，但又觉得新婚的儿子儿媳也该有相应的承担。那么，你可以这样设计 529 账户，他们存 1 美元，你也存 1 美元。
“如果这样平衡地规划，就会鼓励养成良好的储蓄习惯，也不至于显得过分控制，”堪萨斯州 Garrett Planning Network 的创始人谢乐尔?加勒特 (Sheryl Garrett) 说。“这是个赠与的好办法，也促使子女朝著这个目标投资。”
四、离婚保护
也许你现在还没有选定一个目标，或者只是想把钱给孩子，又不想让他们的配偶得利。要是不用考虑地产税的话，最好的办法就是去世时赠与遗产。这样财产就不会在那会儿被子女挥霍，也不会因离婚而被瓜分。今年的地产税免税额是 150 万美元，明年会涨到 200 万美元。
还有一种办法，你可以现在就把钱给孩子，但建议他们把这笔钱放在自己名下的证券交易帐户或者共同基金账户里。一旦离婚分割财产时，某些财产不计在内，例如婚前财产、婚姻期间的任何遗产所得和赠与所得。
“只要你的财产和配偶的财产相互独立，就一直具备非婚姻财产的特点，”芝加哥家庭事务律师莎莉?安?马丁 (Sally Ann Martin) 解释说。“一旦开始将个人财产与婚姻财产相混，或者用个人财产账户去支付具有婚姻财产性质的帐单，这个账户就有可能失去非婚姻财产的特性，被一并视同为婚姻财产了。”
但有一项风险：孩子们明智地建立了独立的非婚姻财产账户，纳入赠与和遗产所得。但后来又存入了被视为婚姻财产的资金，例如婚姻期间定期薪水里的一部分。“一旦离婚，检点财产的时候，可就是一场会计账目的噩梦了，”马丁说。
五、信托和婚前协议
哪怕孩子们很严谨地把婚姻期间的遗产和赠与所得都存入一个独立账户，离婚仍有可能导致财务纠纷。因为有些州可能会迫使离婚双方分割这个账户在婚姻存续期间的收益，可能也包括资本收益。
要防范这项风险，你可以把所有的财产赠与都放入一个信托帐户，子女是受益人。但问题是，建立或监管一个信托账户往往耗资不菲。
怎么才能省下这笔支出呢？匹兹堡律师兼会计师詹姆斯?兰格 (James Lange) 说，你可以鼓励子女和准配偶签署婚前协议，在协议中写进一条：夫妻双方均可保留婚前财产、遗产和赠与的全部投资所得。
当然，对期待掀开人生新篇章的准夫妻来说，婚前协议并不讨人喜欢。但实际上，这对他们都有利，因为这份协议会鼓励对方在婚姻期间更加慷慨大方。
“跟女婿讨论的时候，我就告诉他别为这事儿抓狂，”兰格说。“配偶有了更多财产，你也会得到间接的财务好处。她享用牛排时不大可能让你啃汉堡。”
总结一下，怎样资助子女，又不惠及其配偶：
-- 直接支付他们的医疗费或学费。
-- 为孙辈建立一个 529 大学学费储蓄计划。
-- 把资金划入一个信托帐户，或者告诉子女把这笔钱放入一个他们自己名下的独立账户。
-- 鼓励子女签署婚前协议。
