Parents Gain Insight
Into Art of Managing
During Family Time
There are lots of ways to learn how to be an effective manager. Business school is a start, followed by close observation of good and bad bosses and wisdom gleaned from mentors and books.
But many managers who also are parents get some of their most pivotal management lessons from interacting with their children. The opportunity exists all year long, but it is more likely during vacation season, when managers have uninterrupted time with families.
George Schwartz, treasurer and executive vice president of Boston Private Bank & Trust, says his four children, each with a distinct personality, have taught him that employees should be treated equally but should be managed in unique ways. "You always want to be treating everyone fairly, but you have to tailor your interactions to each employee's personality," he says.
His 19-year-old son is outgoing "with a big personality," while his 18-year-old son is introspective and more apt to keep things to himself. Learning to give a lot of attention to his oldest son, while respecting his second son's need for privacy, helped him at work, he says. "I've got some employees who crave adulation and need a lot of public recognition and others who are equally good performers but are somewhat embarrassed by compliments."
Meanwhile, his 15-year-old daughter's fearless and determined personality has reinforced his comfort with strong women employees, he says. His 12-year-old son's easygoing style helps him identify even-tempered employees whom he can rely on in crises. He says being a parent has shown him the importance of giving workers individual attention, while discouraging them from competing with one another.
Don LeBeau, president and chief executive of Aruba Wireless Networks, a wireless networking company focused on corporate security, says the years he spent out of the work force, helping to raise his three children, honed his skills as a motivator, mentor and strategist. The former senior vice president of sales and operations at Cisco Systems during its explosive growth in the 1990s, Mr. LeBeau quit his 24/7 job in 1997 to get to know his children.
"I reached a point where I realized I'd been a good provider for my family, which my father taught me was my No. 1 job," he says. But he wasn't home enough to communicate with his children, share activities or exert much of an influence, he adds. His oldest son was already living on his own, his daughter was a high-school sophomore and his youngest son was in eighth grade. When he interviewed prospective employees who spoke with love about their fathers, he says he worried, "What will my kids say about me, besides, 'He made a lot of money'?"
He spent the next seven years as a stay-at-home father. On drives to and from school and activities -- a job he took over from his wife -- he learned "to listen and not judge," he says. "I found out if I wanted my kids to talk to me, I'd better not lecture them about my big ideas."
He learned to be less of a perfectionist and recognized the power of praise over criticism. "I found I had a lot greater impact with my kids if I supported them for doing something right instead of chastising them for doing something wrong," he says. Besides, he admits, when he did criticize them, his children told him to back off, or they withdrew. "Kids are a lot quicker to tell you when you goof up than employees," he says.
Mr. LeBeau supported his sons' interest in technology and his daughter's love of athletics, attending sports events with her. When his younger son showed a talent for learning foreign languages, he arranged for him to spend a year of high school in Amsterdam -- and moved to Europe with him.
His efforts to help his children with college and career choices also influenced his own decision in January to re-enter the workplace full time. His children each had a particular talent and also a strong interest in something else. Mr. LeBeau encouraged them not only to study subjects in which they were already adept but also to "look for the intersection between their skills and passions," he says. His younger son blended his technology and language skills to major in linguistics.
Mr. LeBeau was drawn to Aruba because of its blend of wireless technology and security, two hot areas. He could draw on his knowledge of start-ups while learning about new technology. He saw the potential for fast growth.
But he no longer barks orders. Now, Mr. LeBeau -- at 56, two decades older than most of his employees -- listens to their ideas before offering his perspective. He tells them to "take a deep breath" and pace themselves. He also reassures edgy workers who worry about the start-up's future, noting how revenue has been rapidly growing. And he no longer measures himself or others on their willingness to work around the clock. "That hurts family life -- and it can be less productive for business," he says.
Ron Shaich, CEO of Panera Bread, who became a parent five years ago at age 45, says his son has taught him to think about what he actually does at work. "I told him I spend most of my time talking to people about ideas, and he suggested that I make a blueberry-banana bagel," Mr. Shaich says. "And when I came home the next day, he asked, 'Do you have my blueberry-banana bagel?'"
孩子让父母成为优秀经理人
想学习如何成为一位优秀的经理人有很多的方法。先上一所商学院，然后仔细观察身边成功和失败的领导们的一言一行，还可以从良师益友和书籍中发现智慧。
不过，很多身为父母的经理人都是在与孩子的互动中学到了他们最重要的管理哲学。尽管长年都有机会和孩子在一起，但能够体会到管理哲学的时候却只有在假期，因为那时没有什么能打扰父母和孩子进行沟通。
Boston Private Bank & Trust的司库及执行副总裁乔治?舒瓦茨(George Schwartz)说，他的四个孩子个性完全不同，与孩子的交流使他明白了平等对待员工的同时也要对不同的员工进行不同的管理。“经理总是希望对下属一视同仁，但和每个下属的沟通却要根据其个性的不同采用不同的方式”，他说。
他的大儿子今年19岁，对人十分热情；但18岁的二儿子就内敛一些，喜欢自己想事情。他说，在学会给大儿子更多关心同时注意尊重小儿子的隐私之后，他也明白了在工作中如何对待自己的下属。“在我的下属中，有人喜欢听表扬的话，你就需要多给他们一些公开的认可；有的人虽然也有同样出色的表现，但公开的表扬却会使他们感到有些不好意思”。
舒瓦茨的女儿今年15岁，她无畏和坚定的性格让她的爸爸学会了如何应对公司里个性很强的女雇员。舒瓦茨还有一个12岁的小儿子，是个非常平易近人的小男孩，他让舒瓦茨懂得如何发现那些性情温和、可以在危机时付出信任的员工。他说，为人父的经历让他知道需要给每个员工不同的关注，避免让下属之间互相争斗。
Aruba Wireless Networks的总裁兼首席执行长唐?勒博(Don LeBeau)说，摆脱工作专心抚养三个孩子的那段日子让他磨练出如何做一位激励者、指导者和战略策划者的技巧。Aruba Wireless Networks是一家服务于公司网络安全的无线网络公司。他曾经在思科系统(Cisco Systems)90年代呈现爆炸式增长时担任销售和运营高级副总裁。1997年，勒博辞去了没日没夜的工作，专心陪伴自己的孩子。
“我以前已经做到了我父亲所说的我最应当做好的工作，也就是挣钱让家人过上好日子”，他说。但他呆在家里的时间太少了，没有机会与孩子们沟通，一起参加活动，好好引导孩子，他补充说。他家的老大已经自食其力了；老二是个女儿，正在读高中二年级；老小是个在读八年级的男孩。每当应聘者在面试时谈到很爱自己的父亲时，勒博就有点担心，“我的孩子在说起我时，除了说'他能赚很多钱'之外还能说些什么呢”？
随后的7年，他尽心尽力做一个住家好爸爸。每天开车接送孩子上下学或是参加各种活动 --这以前是他妻子总干的活 --他学会了“倾听和不要总是去断定什么事情”，他说。“我发现如果想让孩子们和我谈谈，我就不能总拿我那一套高谈阔论”。
他开始学会不要太追求完美，意识到褒扬比批评更能达到希望的效果。“我发现，如果我支持他们去做正确的事情而不是责备他们做错事，他们会更愿意接受我的意见”，他说。而且，他承认，当他批评孩子的时候，他们会让爸爸少管他们的事，或是自己不愿再和爸爸沟通了。“当你处理不当的时候，孩子会比下属更快让你知道这一点”。
勒博鼓励儿子发展他对科技的爱好；支持女儿对体育运动的热忱，他会陪著女儿去参加各种体育活动。当他的小儿子显露出学外语的天赋时，他安排儿子到阿姆斯特丹度过一年的高中生活，他甚至陪伴他去了欧洲。
他帮助孩子们进入大学和选择职业生涯的经历，也促使他自己1月份决定重返职场。他的孩子各个有自己不同的专长和兴趣爱好。勒博鼓励他们不仅要学好擅长的功课，还应该去发现技能和兴趣爱好的交汇点。他的小儿子就把在技术方面的专长和对语言的爱好综合起来选择攻读语言学专业。
勒博之所以会来到Aruba，就是因为这家公司将无线技术和网络安全这两大热门领域结合在一起。他可以充分发挥自己在经营初创企业方面的经验，同时又能学习新的技术。他认为这个技术领域未来将有巨大发展。
他不再大呼小叫地命令下属。今年56岁的勒博比大部分同事年长20多岁。现在，他总是在阐述自己的观点前，先听听别人的想法。他告诉员工不要紧张，要调整好自己的心态。他安慰那些对公司前途感到担忧的员工，告诉他们公司的收入正在快速增长。他不再以是否愿意没日没夜的工作来衡量自己和他人的工作态度。“那样做会影响到家庭生活--反而会削弱工作效率”，他说。
Panera Bread的首席执行长罗恩?沙伊谢(Ron Shaich)五年前，也就是在他45岁的时候才当上爸爸。他说，他的儿子教会他思考工作中的事情。“我告诉他我大部分时间用于和别人交流意见，他就建议我将大家的想法融合在一起，就像做香蕉蓝莓点心”，他说。“第二天当我回到家，他问我，香蕉蓝莓点心怎么样了？”
